Life insurance -- Fiction; Life insurance agents -- Fiction; Short stories
“No, _nein_,” he argued, “it ain’t the vay it’s done. You got yourself,
ain’t it, yes? When you ain’t got yourself, you ain’t here, but I am.
You don’t looss yourself when you die, but I looss you, and you’re vorth
a lot.”
“There’s other women,” she retorted.
“But they ain’t vorth what you are by _zwei_ t’ousand dollars,” he
insisted, and this delicate bit of flattery won the day. After all, it
made no difference to her. She rebelled a little at going to the
insurance office to be examined, however.
“You tell ’em I’m all right,” she urged. “You know.”
But a new gown—a cheap one—gained this point, and she went.
Adolph prided himself very much on this stroke of business. His great
aim in life was to pay a little less than the market price for
everything, and he was never convinced that he was really doing this
unless the deal had to be carried out in some underhand way. When he
could buy for less than others he was making so much more money, and it
was his experience that the biggest profit lay in shady transactions. In
others he had made, or saved, much more than in this, but the
difficulties he encountered in this instance convinced him that it was
an especially notable achievement. He was proud of his success.
“You bet you, they don’t fool me very much,” he asserted frequently.
And, in time, he told how clever he was. Not at first, however; he was
very cautious at first, for Murray’s words had made an impression on
him. But, after he had paid a few premiums, the lapse of time gave him a
feeling of security, and one day, in boasting of his business
shrewdness, he mentioned that he was even sharp enough to get life
insurance at a bargain. After that, it was easier to speak of it again,
and he finally told the story. The news spread in his own little circle.
It was quite a feat, and he was held to have demonstrated remarkable
cleverness. When another told of some sharp business deal, some one
would remark, “Yes, that was clever, but you never got life insurance at
a bargain.” And, in the course of time—six months or more from the time
the story was first breathed—it came to the ears of one Daniel Grady.
This was unfortunate, for Daniel at once jumped to the conclusion that
he had been cheated. Daniel had a small policy in the same company, and
this policy was costing him the full premium without rebate of any kind
from any insurance solicitor or anybody else. Daniel did not like this,
and neither did he like Adolph; in fact, he would have been willing to
pay a little higher premium for the privilege of making trouble for
Adolph. Failing that, Daniel would like to get on even terms with him.
“It’s th’ divil iv a note,” said Daniel, “that I sh’u’d be payin’ more
than that little shrimp, an’ me only thryin’ to take care iv Maggie an’
th’ childhern. I’ll go down to th’ office an’ push th’ face iv th’ man
in if he don’t give me th’ same rate, I will so.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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