He gulped his tea down. His heart alternately leaped and stood still. A
sort of numbness held him most of that dreadful interval, and no clear
thought came at all. Every ten seconds his head turned towards the door
that rattled, seemed to move, yet never opened. But any moment now it
_must_ open, and he would be in her very presence, breathing the same
air with her. He would see her, charge himself with her beauty once more
to the brim, and then go out again into the wilderness--the wilderness
of life--without her, and not for a mere ten years but for always. She
was so utterly beyond his reach. He felt like a backwoodsman, he was a
backwoodsman.
For one thing only was he duly prepared, though he thought about it
little enough--she would, of course, have changed. The photograph he
owned, cut from an illustrated paper, was not true now. It might even be
a little shock perhaps. He must remember that. Ten years cannot pass
over a woman without--
Before he knew it the door was open, and she was advancing quietly
towards him across the thick carpet that deadened sound. With both hands
outstretched she came, and with the sweetest welcoming smile upon her
parted lips he had seen in any human face. Her eyes were soft with joy.
His whole heart leaped within him; for the instant he saw her it all
flashed clear as sunlight--that she knew and understood. She had always
known, had always understood. Speech came easily to him in a flood, had
he needed it, but he did not need it. It was all so adorably easy,
simple, natural, and true. He just took her hands--those welcoming,
outstretched hands--in both of his own, and led her to the nearest sofa.
He was not even surprised at himself. Inevitably, out of depths of
truth, this meeting came about. And he uttered a little foolish
commonplace, because he feared the huge revulsion that his sudden glory
brought, and loved to taste it slowly:
"So you live here still?"
"Here, and here," she answered softly, touching his heart, and then her
own. "I am attached to this house, too, because _you_ used to come and
see me here, and because it was here I waited so long for you, and still
wait. I shall never leave it--unless you change. You see, we live
together here."
He said nothing. He leaned forward to take and hold her. The abrupt
knowledge of it all somehow did not seem abrupt--it was as though he had
known it always; and the complete disclosure did not seem disclosure
either--rather as though she told him something he had inexplicably left
unrealized, yet not forgotten. He felt absolutely master of himself,
yet, in a curious sense, outside of himself at the same time. His arms
were already open--when she gently held her hands up to prevent. He
heard a faint sound outside the door.
"But you are free," he cried, his great passion breaking out and
flooding him, yet most oddly well controlled, "and I--"
She interrupted him in the softest, quietest whisper he had ever heard:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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