"They are," said Standish, "an' if they were all only half as wise as they think they are then they'd be only young fools in the world. I don't wonder a bit at the suffragettes. An' a time will come when we won't know men from women unless some one tells us so." "Wisha, 'tis my belief that there will be a great reaction some day, because women will never be able to stand the strain of doin' what they please without encountering opposition. When a man falls in love he falls into trouble likewise, an' when a woman isn't in trouble you may be sure that there's something wrong with her." "Well," said Standish, "I think we will leave the women where the devil left St. Peter--" "Where was that?" asked Felix. "Alone," answered Standish. "That would be all very fine if they stayed there," said Felix. "Now," said Standish, "as I was talking of me travels in foreign parts, I want to tell you about the morning I walked along the beach at Ballysantamalo, an' a warm morning it was too. So I ses to meself, 'Standish McNeill,' ses I, 'what kind of a fool of a man are you? Why don't you take a swim for yourself?' So I did take a swim, an' I swam to the rocks where the seals goes to get their photograph's taken an' while I was havin' a rest for meself I noticed a grasshopper sittin' a short distance away an' 'pon me word, but he was the most sorrowful lookin' grasshopper I ever saw before or since. Then all of a sudden a monster whale comes up from the sea and lies down beside him an' ses: 'Well,' ses he, 'is that you? Who'd ever think of finding you here. Why, there's nothing strange under the sun but the ways of woman.' "''Tis me that's here, then,' said the grasshopper. 'Me grandmother died last night an' she wasn't insured either.' "'The practice of negligence is the curse of mankind and the root of sorrow,' ses the whale. 'I suppose the poor old soul had her fill of days, an' sure we all must die, an' 'tis cheaper to be dead than alive at any time. A man never knows that he's dead when he's dead an' he never knows he's alive until he's married.' "'You're a great one to expatiate on things you know nothing about, like the barbers and the cobblers,' said the grasshopper. 'I only want to know if you're coming to the funeral to-morrow?' "'I'm sorry I can't,' ses the whale. 'Me grandfather is getting married, for the tenth time, an' as I was in China on the last few occasions I must pay me respects by being present at to-morrow's festivities,' ses he. "'I'm sorry you can't come,' ses the grasshopper, 'because you are heartily welcome an' you'd add prestige to the ceremony besides.' "'I know that,' ses the whale, 'but America doesn't care much about ceremony.' "'Who told you that?' ses the grasshopper. "'Haven't I me eyesight, an' don't I read the newspapers,' ses the whale. "'You mustn't read the society columns, then,' ses the grasshopper.