"'Wisha, for the love of St. Crispin,' ses the whale 'have they society columns in the American newspapers?' "'Indeed they have,' ses the grasshopper, 'and they oftentimes devote a few columns to other matters when the dressmakers don't be busy.' "'America is a strange country surely, a wonderful country, not to say a word about the length and breadth of it. I swam around it twice last week without stoppin,' to try an' reduce me weight, an' would you believe me that I was tired after the journey, but the change of air only added to me proportions.' "'That's too bad,' said the grasshopper. "'Are you an American?' said the whale. "'Of course I am,' ses the grasshopper. 'You don't think 'tis the way I'd be born at sea an' no nationality at all like yourself. I'm proud of me country.' "'And why, might I ask?' "'Well don't we produce distinguished Irishmen? Don't we make Americans of the Europeans and Europeans of the Americans? Think of all the connoisseurs who wouldn't buy a work of art in their own country when they could go to Europe and pay ten times its value for the pot-boilers that does be turned out in the studios of Paris and London.' "'There's nothin' like home industry,' ses the whale, 'in a foreign country, I mean.' "'After all, who knows anything about a work of art but the artist? and very little he knows about it, either. A work of art is like a flower, it grows, it happens. That's all. An' unless you charge the devil's own price for it, people will think you are cheating them.' "'Wisha, I suppose the best anyone can do is to take all you can get an' if you want to be a philanthropist, give away what you don't want,' ses the grasshopper. "'All worth missing I catches,' ses the whale, 'an' all worth catchin' I misses, like the fisherwoman who missed the fish and caught a crab. How's things in Europe? I didn't see the papers this morning.' "'Europe is in a bad way,' ses the grasshopper. 'She was preaching civilization for centuries so that she might be prepared when war came to annihilate herself.' "'It looks that way to me,' ses the whale. 'Is there anything else worth while going on in the world?' "'There's the Irish question,' ses the grasshopper. "'Where's that, Ireland is?' ses the whale. 'Isn't that an island to the west of England?' "'No,' ses the grasshopper, 'but England is an island to the east of Ireland.' "'Wisha,' ses the whale, 'it gives me indigestion to hear people talking about Ireland. Sure, I nearly swallowed it up be mistake while I was on a holiday in the Atlantic last year, an' I'm sorry now that I didn't.' "'An' I'm sorry that you didn't try,' ses the grasshopper. 'Then you'd know something about indigestion. The less you have to say about Ireland the less you'll have to be sorry for. Remember that me father came from Cork.' "'Can't I say what I like?' ses the whale. "'You can think what you like,' ses the grasshopper, 'but say what other people like if you want to be a good politician.'