The best short stories of 1918, and the yearbook of the American short story
General
The best short stories of 1918, and the yearbook of the American short story
American fiction -- 20th century; Short stories -- 20th century -- Bibliography; Short stories -- 20th century -- Indexes; Short stories, American
The returning ship swam swiftly through the dark; the deep, interior
breathing of the engines, the singing of wire stays, the huge whispering
rush of foam streaming the water-line made up a body of silence upon
which the sound of the doctor’s footfalls, coming and going restlessly
along the near deck, intruded only a little—a faint and personal
disturbance. Charging slowly through the dark, a dozen paces forward, a
dozen paces aft, his invisible and tormented face bent forward a little
over his breast, he said to himself,—
“What fools! What blind fools we’ve been!”
Sweat stood for an instant on his brow, and was gone in the steady
onrush of the wind.
The man lying on the cot in the shelter of the cabin companionway made
no sound all the while. He might have been asleep or dead, he remained
so quiet; yet he was neither asleep nor dead, for his eyes, large,
wasted, and luminous, gazed out unwinking from the little darkness of
his shelter into the vaster darkness of the night, where a star burned
in slow mutations, now high, now sailing low, over the rail of the ship.
Once he said in a washed and strengthless voice, “That’s a bright star,
doctor.”
If the other heard, he gave no sign. He continued charging slowly back
and forth, his large dim shoulders hunched over his neck, his hands
locked behind him, his teeth showing faintly gray between the fleshy
lips which hung open a little to his breathing.
“It’s dark!” he said of a sudden, bringing up before the cot in the
companionway. “God, Hallett, how dark it is!” There was something
incoherent and mutilated about it, as if the cry had torn the tissues of
his throat. “I’m not myself to-night,” he added, with a trace of shame.
Hallett spoke slowly from his pillow.
“It wouldn’t be the subs to-night? You’re not that kind, you know. I’ve
seen you in the zone. And we’re well west of them by this, anyhow; and
as you say, it’s very dark.”
“It’s not that darkness. Not that!”
Again there was the same sense of something tearing. The doctor rocked
for a moment on his thick legs. He began to talk.
“It’s this _war_—” His conscience protested: “I ought not to go on
so—it’s not right, not right at all—talking so to the wounded—the
dying—I shouldn’t go on so to the dying—” And all the while the words
continued to tumble out of his mouth. “No, I’m not a coward—not
especially. You know I’m not a coward, Hallett. You know that. But just
now, to-night, somehow, the whole black truth of the thing has come out
and got me—jumped out of the dark and got me by the neck, Hallett. Look
here; I’ve kept a stiff lip. Since the first I’ve said, ‘We’ll win this
war.’ It’s been a matter of course. So far as I know, never a hint of
doubt has shadowed my mind, even when things went bad. ‘In the end,’
I’ve said, ‘in the end, of course, we’re bound to win.’”
He broke away again to charge slowly through the dark with his head
down, butting; a large, overheated animal endowed with a mind.
“But—do we want to win?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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