"Oh, turtle doves, turtle doves!" exclaimed Maxwell, hooking his arm
in mine, as we walked along. "Oh, golden day, with love's fetters
binding one fast! Auspicious epoch in a man's career when he is strung
up for life! Love, honor, and obey, and all that sort of thing.
Connubial bliss, Darby and Joan, till death doth us part. Not for me,
my boy, not for me; but every man to his taste. Fol-de-riddle! Chorus
of infatuated bridegrooms--fol-de-riddle, fol-de-riddle!"
"Hold your tongue," I said, between my teeth, "or I'll not stay with
you another moment."
"Right you are, my sensitive plant," he returned. "I'm mum as the
inside of a screwed down coffin."
But he continued to sing softly to himself, and to chuckle as he cast
furtive glances at me. In such circumstances it was not likely that I
could enjoy my meal, and I sat for the most part doing nothing, while
Maxwell disposed of the various courses he ordered. Drinking did not
affect his appetite, and he would have kept at the table all the day
had I not called for the bill.
"Time to go, eh? Love's call must be obeyed," he said, rising, and
pouring out the last glass of wine in the bottle. With his left hand
on the table he steadied himself, and held up the glass.
"You're not half a bad sort, John, but you're a bit soft. You want
hardening, my boy, and you'll get it."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"What do I mean? Why, that Barbara's all your own now, all your own.
Well, here's a happy honeymoon to the fond couple." He drained the
glass.
I hardly knew how to take his words, and I did not answer him. On our
way back he borrowed twenty pounds of me, and I determined it should
be the last he would ever get from me. I was strongly inclined at
first to refuse, but I was afraid he would make a scene, and so for
Barbara's sake I gave him the money.
"Thank you, John," he said, pocketing the notes. "You're a trump, but
a trifle green. Here we are at the house. What a jolly wedding-day!"
I could have struck the mocking devil in the face, for by this time I
was thoroughly out of temper; but, again for dear Barbara's sake, I
refrained from uttering the hot words that rose to my lips.
The carriage was at the door and my wife was ready. Maxwell opened his
arms for a parting embrace, but Barbara slipped from him and entered
the carriage. As it moved away I caught a last glimpse of him standing
on the doorstep laughing immoderately, and I almost fancied I heard
him call after us, "What a jolly wedding day!"
CHAPTER IV.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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