The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
Haw! I might have done that, certainly. [_Tapping his brow._] Fact
is--height of the Season--perfectly distracted----
MRS. ANSLOW.
[_With the air of a martyr._] It doesn't matter. I sha'n't trouble you
again. I've never been a favourite of yours----
GREEN.
[_Appealingly._] Haw! Don't----!
MRS. ANSLOW.
It's true. I was one of the few stall-holders at the Army and Navy
Bazaar whose gowns you didn't describe--[_Seeing_ PHILIP _and nodding
to him hazily._] How d'ye do?
ROOPE.
[_Prompting her._] Mr. Mackworth----
[MRS. ANSLOW _goes to_ PHILIP _and proffers him a limp
hand._ GREEN _retreats to the fireplace and_ MRS. QUEBEC
_rises and pursues him._
MRS. ANSLOW.
[_To_ PHILIP.] I think we met once at my cousins', the Fairfields'.
PHILIP.
[_Bowing._] Yes.
MRS. ANSLOW.
You write, don't you?
PHILIP.
[_Evasively._] Oh----!
ROOPE.
[_Joining them._] My dear Mrs. Anslow, Mr. Mackworth is one of the most
gifted authors of the present day.
PHILIP.
[_Glaring at_ ROOPE.] Tsssh!
ROOPE.
[_To_ MRS. ANSLOW.] Get his books from your library instantly. I envy
you the treat in store for you----
[NOYES _again appears._
NOYES.
Madame de Chaumie.
[OTTOLINE DE CHAUMIE _enters--a beautiful, pale, elegant
young woman of three-and-thirty, with a slightly foreign
air and perfect refinement of manner._ NOYES _retires.
Everybody is manifestly pleased to see_ OTTOLINE,
_except_ PHILIP _who picks up a little figure from the
writing-table and examines it critically._
ROOPE.
[_Hurrying to her and taking her hand._] Ah----!
OTTOLINE.
Robbie dear!
MRS. QUEBEC.
[_Going to_ OTTOLINE.] Oh! [_They embrace._] This is lovely!
OTTOLINE.
[_To_ MRS. ANSLOW, _who comes to her._] Millicent----! [_To_ GREEN,
_who bustles forward and kisses her hand._] How do you do?
MRS. QUEBEC.
[_To_ OTTOLINE.] You didn't stay long at the Railtons' last night,
Ottoline.
OTTOLINE.
I had a headache--mother was so vexed with me----
MRS. ANSLOW.
Headache or not, you looked divine.
MRS. QUEBEC.
A vision!
GREEN.
[_To_ OTTOLINE.] Haw! I hope you saw the remarks about you in this
morning's papah, deah lady.
OTTOLINE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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