The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
[_Rising and wandering to the writing-table._] First we descended upon
Paris--you know; but Paris didn't respond very satisfactorily. Plenty
of smart men flocked round us--_la belle Mademoiselle Filson_ drew
_them_ to the Avenue Montaigne!----
PHILIP.
[_Under his breath, turning._] T'scht!
OTTOLINE.
But the women were either hopelessly _bourgeoises_ or slightly
_declassee_. [_Inspecting some of the pieces of bric-a-brac upon the
table._] Which decided us to attack London--and induced me to pay my
call on you in the Rue Soufflot----
PHILIP.
I understand.
OTTOLINE.
To coax you to herald us in your weekly _causeries_. [_Wincing._]
Horrible of me, _that_ was; horrible, horrible, horrible! [_Replacing
an object upon the table and moving to the other side of the room._]
However, I wasn't destined to share the earliest of the London
triumphs. [_Bitterly._] Mine awaited me in Paris, and at
Vaudemont-Baudricourt, as the Comtesse de Chaumie! [_Shivering._]
Ugh-h-h-h----!
[_She is about to sit in the chair on the left when he
comes to her impulsively and restrains her._
PHILIP.
My poor girl----!
OTTOLINE.
[_With abandon._] Ah----!
PHILIP.
My poor dear girl!
OTTOLINE.
It's a relief to me to open my heart to you, Philip. [_He leads her to
the fauteuil-stool._] Robbie won't interrupt us yet awhile, will he?
PHILIP.
We'll kick him out if he does. [_They sit, close together, upon the
fauteuil-stool._] Oh, but he won't! This is a deep-laid plot of the old
chap's----
OTTOLINE.
Plot?
PHILIP.
To invite us here to-day, you and me, to--to----
OTTOLINE.
_Amener un rapprochement?_
PHILIP.
Exactly.
OTTOLINE.
[_Softly._] Ha, ha! Dear old Robbie! [_He laughs with her._] Dear, dear
old Robbie! [_Her laughter dies out, leaving her with a serious,
appealing face._] Phil----
PHILIP.
Eh?
OTTOLINE.
Your sneer--your sneer about me and the papers----
PHILIP.
Sneer?
OTTOLINE.
I detected it. Almost the first thing you said to me when I arrived was
that you'd been gathering news of me lately from the papers!
PHILIP.
[_Gently._] Forgive me.
OTTOLINE.
It's been none of my doing; I've finished with _le snobbisme_ entirely.
[_Pleadingly._] You don't doubt me?
PHILIP.
[_Patting her hand._] No--no.
OTTOLINE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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