The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
PHILIP.
Rumour has it that there are at least a dozen ardent admirers at your
feet, each with a wedding-ring in his waistcoat-pocket.
OTTOLINE.
[_Reproachfully, her eyes meeting his._] Why, have you been listening
to tittle-tattle as well as studying newspaper paragraphs! [_He bows,
good-humouredly._] My dear Philip, allowing for exaggeration, granting
that my _soupirants_ number _half_-a-dozen, which of them would enable
me to fill my lungs with fresh air? Who _are_ they, these enterprising
men----?
PHILIP.
[_Leaving her abruptly and going to the mantelpiece._] Oh, pray don't
ask _me_! I don't know who the fellows are--except--they say--Sir
Timothy Barradell----
OTTOLINE.
[_Lightly but softly._] Sir Timothy! Sir Timothy has only just
succeeded in fighting his way into the world I'm sick and tired of!
[_Shaking her head._] Poor Sir Tim! [_Pityingly._] Ha, ha, ha, ha!
PHILIP.
[_His back towards her._] Otto----
OTTOLINE.
Yes?
PHILIP.
What sort of world would you be willing to exchange for your present
one, my dear?
OTTOLINE.
What sort----?
PHILIP.
What sort--spiritual and material?
OTTOLINE.
[_Resting her elbow upon the arm of her chair and her chin upon her
hand, musingly._] Oh, I believe any world would content me that's
totally different from the world I've lived in so long; any world that
isn't flat and stale and stifling; that isn't made up of shams, and
petty aims and appetites; any world that--well, such a world as you
used to picture, Phil, when you preached your gospel to a selfish,
common girl under the chestnuts in the Allee de Longchamp and the
Champs-Elysees! [_Half laughing, half sighing._] Ha, la, la, la!
[_Again there is a pause, and then he walks to the
further window and gazes into the street once more._
PHILIP.
[_In a low voice._] Ten years ago, Otto!
OTTOLINE.
Ten years ago!
PHILIP.
[_Partly in jest, partly seriously._] Do the buds still sprout on those
trees in the Allee de Longchamp and the Champs-Elysees, can you tell
me?
OTTOLINE.
[_Falling in with his humour._] Ha, ha! Every spring, _cher ami_,
regularly.
PHILIP.
And the milk at the Cafe d'Armenonville and the Pre-Catelan--is it
still rich and delectable?
OTTOLINE.
To the young, I assume; scarcely to the aged widow----!
PHILIP.
Or the grey-haired scribbler! Ha, ha, ha, ha!
OTTOLINE.
Ha, ha, ha, ha----!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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