The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
Good morning.
WESTRIP.
[_Entering and closing the door._] Lady Filson isn't down yet?
MISS TRACER.
No. [_Tossing the picture-paper onto the round table._] She didn't get
to bed till pretty late last night, I suspect.
WESTRIP.
[_Advancing._] I thought she'd like to look through these. [_Showing_
MISS TRACER _the press-cuttings._] From the press-cutting agency.
MISS TRACER.
[_Picking up her note-book and rising._] You bet she would!
WESTRIP.
[_Handing her the press-cuttings._] Let me have them back again,
please. Sir Randle hardly had time to glance at them before he went
out.
MISS TRACER.
[_Inquisitively, elevating her eyebrows._] He's out very early?
WESTRIP.
Yes; he's gone to a memorial service.
MISS TRACER.
Another! [_With a twinkle._] That's the third this month.
WESTRIP.
So it is. I'm awfully sorry for him.
MISS TRACER.
[_Laughing slyly._] He, he, he! Ho, ho!
WESTRIP.
[_Surprised._] What is there to laugh at, Miss Tracer?
MISS TRACER.
You don't believe he has ever really known half the people he mourns,
do you?
WESTRIP.
Not known them!
MISS TRACER.
[_Crossing to the writing-table and laying the press-cuttings upon
it._] Guileless youth! Wait till you've breathed the air of this
establishment a little longer.
WESTRIP.
[_Puzzled._] But if he hasn't known them, why should he----?
MISS TRACER.
For the sake of figuring among a lot of prominent personages, of
course.
WESTRIP.
[_Incredulously._] Oh, Miss Tracer!
MISS TRACER.
Gospel. [_Taking up the press-cuttings and looking through them._] Many
are the sympathetic souls who are grief-stricken in these days for the
same reason. Here we are! [_Reading from a cutting._] Late Viscount
Petersfield ... memorial service ... St. Margaret's, Westminster ...
among those present ... h'm, h'm, h'm ... Sir Randle Filson ... wreaths
were sent by ... h'm, h'm, h'm, h'm ... Sir Randle and Lady Filson!
[_Replacing the press-cuttings upon the table._] Ha, ha, ha, ha--!
[_Checking herself and turning to_ WESTRIP.] Our conversation is
strictly private, Mr. Westrip?
WESTRIP.
[_Somewhat disturbed._] Strictly.
MISS TRACER.
[_Smiling at him winningly and moving to the settee before the
fireplace._] You're a nice boy; I'm sure you wouldn't make mischief.
[_Sinking on to the settee with a yawn._] Oh! Oh, I'm so weary!
WESTRIP.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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