The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
[_To_ SIR RANDLE.] Then there's the telegram from the _Daily Monitor_,
Sir Randle----
SIR RANDLE.
[_Puffing himself out._] Ah, yes! The editor solicits my views
upon--what is the subject of the discussion which is being carried on
in his admirable journal, Mr. Westrip?----
WESTRIP.
"Should Women Marry under Thirty?"
SIR RANDLE.
H'm! [_Musingly._] Should Women Marry under Thirty? [_To_ WESTRIP.]
Reply paid?
WESTRIP.
Forty-eight words.
SIR RANDLE.
[_Rising and strolling across to_ LADY FILSON, _as if seeking for
inspiration._] Should Women Marry under Thirty? [_Humming._] H'm, h'm,
h'm--! [_To_ LADY FILSON.] Winnie----?
LADY FILSON.
[_Looking up at him._] I was considerably under thirty when _we_
married, Randle.
SIR RANDLE.
[_Triumphantly._] Ha! [_Chuckling._] Ho, ho, ho! Capital! Ho, ho, ho!
[_Patting_ LADY FILSON_'s shoulder._] Clever! Clever! [_To_ WESTRIP,
_grandly._] There we have my response to the inquiry, Mr. Westrip.
[_Closing his eyes again._] Sir Randle Filson's views are best
expressed by the statement that Lady Filson was considerably under
thirty when she did him the honour of--er--becoming his wife.
WESTRIP.
Excellent, sir.
SIR RANDLE.
[_Opening his eyes._] Pray amplify that in graceful language, Mr.
Westrip--restricting yourself to forty-eight words--[_He breaks off,
interrupted by the appearance of_ OTTOLINE _at the glazed door._] Ah,
my darling!
OTTOLINE.
Good morning, Dad. [_To_ WESTRIP.] Good morning.
WESTRIP.
[_Shyly._] Good morning.
OTTOLINE.
[_To_ SIR RANDLE_--advancing a few steps, but leaving the door open._]
Are you and mother busy?
SIR RANDLE.
Not at all.
LADY FILSON.
[_Who has turned in her chair at_ OTTOLINE_'s entrance._] Not at all,
Otto.
SIR RANDLE.
[_To_ WESTRIP.] I will join you in the library, Mr. Westrip. [WESTRIP
_withdraws at the door on the left, and_ SIR RANDLE _goes to_ OTTOLINE
_and embraces her._] My dear child!
OTTOLINE.
[_In rather a strained voice._] Sir Timothy Barradell is here, Dad.
SIR RANDLE.
I heard he had called.
LADY FILSON.
So sweet of him to treat us informally!
OTTOLINE.
[_To_ LADY FILSON.] He would like to see you and Dad for a minute or
two, mother----
LADY FILSON.
Charmed!
SIR RANDLE.
Delighted!
OTTOLINE.
Just to--just to bid you good-bye.
LADY FILSON.
Good-bye?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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