The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
Robbie--[ROOPE _returns to_ PHILIP _reluctantly, leaving the outer door
open._] Oh, Robbie--[_gripping_ ROOPE's _arm_] how I boasted to you of
my triumph--my grand victory! How I swaggered and bellowed, and crowed
over you----!
ROOPE.
[_Fidgeting to get away._] Yes, but we won't discuss that now, Phil----
PHILIP.
[_Detaining him._] Wait. [_Brokenly._] Robbie--should Ottoline show any
inclination to--to patch matters up, you may tell her--as from me--that
I--I've done with it.
ROOPE.
[_Wonderingly._] Done with it?
PHILIP.
My career as a writing-man. It's finished. [_Hanging his head._] I'm
sorry to break faith with her people; but she may take me, if she will,
on her own terms--a poor devil who has proved a duffer at his job, and
who is content henceforth to be nothing but her humble slave and
dependant.
ROOPE.
[_Energetically._] My dear Phil, for heaven's sake, don't entertain
such a notion! Abandon your career just when you're making a noise in
the world----!
PHILIP.
[_Throwing up his hands._] Noise in the world!
ROOPE.
When you're getting the finest advertisement an author could possibly
desire!
PHILIP.
[_Choking._] Advertisement----!
ROOPE.
I can sympathize with your feeling mortified at not scoring entirely
off your own bat; but, deuce take it, your book _is_ in its thirteenth
edition!
PHILIP.
[_Laughing wildly._] Ho, ho, ho! [_Moving to the fireplace._] Ha, ha,
ha, ha----!
ROOPE.
[_Testily._] Oh, I'm glad I amuse you----!
PHILIP.
[_Coming to the settee on the right._] You're marvellous,
Robbie--incomparable----!
ROOPE.
[_Again preparing to depart._] Indeed?
PHILIP.
Ha, ha, ha----!
[_A moment earlier,_ SIR TIMOTHY BARRADELL _has appeared
in the vestibule, trying, in the dim light there, to
decipher the name on the outer door. Hearing the sound
of voices, he turns and reveals himself._
SIR TIMOTHY.
[_Looking into the room and encountering_ ROOPE.] Roope!
ROOPE.
[_As they shake hands--astonished._] Dear excellent _friend_, what a
surprise!
SIR TIMOTHY.
Ah, don't flatter yourself you're the only early riser in London!
[_Seeing_ PHILIP.] Mr. Mackworth--[_advancing_] I found your door open
and I took the liberty----
PHILIP.
[_Meeting him in the middle of the room._] Sir Timothy Barradell, isn't
it?
SIR TIMOTHY.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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