The BigamistYoung, F. E. Mills (Florence Ethel Mills)
Philosophy
The Bigamist
Young, F. E. Mills (Florence Ethel Mills)
Bigamy -- Fiction; British -- South Africa -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
Arnott came home unexpectedly. He sent no intimation of his return; he
had not, as a matter of fact, intended to turn back when he did. He
obeyed an odd impulse, prompted by a queer, unaccountable fear that if
he prolonged his absence Pamela might grow reconciled to doing without
him, might grow independent of him. He felt no longer so confident that
his temporary separation had been a wise move. He had prolonged it
unduly. He had given her time to miss him, and had made the mistake of
giving her further time in which to grow used to the idea. With this
doubt in his mind he hurried back.
He got back in the afternoon rather late for tea. They had met with
contrary winds round the coast, and the boat was delayed some hours.
Arnott took a taxi at the docks and drove out to his home. He dismissed
the taxi at the gate and carried his luggage himself up the path and
dumped it down on the stoep for one of the servants to take inside.
Then he looked about him with a strange feeling of unreality, and an
unexpected sensation of nervousness that manifested itself chiefly in
the dryness of his throat. Where, he wondered, was Pamela? This return
to a silent, unwelcoming house was disconcerting. He forgot that he was
not expected, and began to feel unreasonably annoyed.
And then abruptly he became aware of Pamela, standing in the opening of
the drawing-room window, gravely regarding him. He looked round
suddenly, and their gaze met.
"So you have come back?" she said.
Her eyes were deep and very intense; the man as he met their shining
look felt certain of his welcome. He advanced towards her quickly.
"Couldn't stick it any longer, Pam," he said. "I wanted you."
He held out his arms. She went forward unhesitatingly, and put her arms
about his neck and drew his face to hers and kissed him.
"I am so glad you have come home," she said.
Arnott's clasp of her tightened.
"Oh! Pam," he said, "how good, how jolly to have you again."
He drew her inside the room, looking away from her a little awkwardly,
looking about him with an overdone air of ease. Pamela also, now that
their greeting was over, assumed an outward calm which she certainly was
not feeling, and busied herself with the tea things, having an equal
difficulty it seemed in meeting his eyes. That, she discovered later,
was one of the developments of their adjusted relations, a sort of
furtiveness, that comprised a mixture of deprecation and a shamed
shyness that was more instinctive than anything else. The realisation
of this hurt her; it detracted immensely from the beauty of their love.
But just at first she did not recognise it other than as a temporary
embarrassment; it did not distress her particularly.
"I was just going to have a lonely tea," she said, and rang the bell for
a fresh supply; "and now--there's you!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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