"Well, ye ain't goin' to set there like a bump on a log 'thout sayin' a word ter pay for yer vittles, air ye? Ask Mis' Bird how she's feelin' this evenin', or if Mr. Bird's hevin' a busy season, or how this kind o' weather agrees with him, or somethin' like that.--Now we'll make b'lieve we've got ter the dinner--that won't be so hard, 'cause yer'll have somethin' to do--it's awful bothersome to stan' round an' act stylish.--If they have napkins, Sarah Maud down to Peory may put 'em in their laps, 'n' the rest of ye can tuck 'em in yer necks. Don't eat with yer fingers--don't grab no vittles off one 'nother's plates; don't reach out for nothin', but wait till yer asked, 'n' if you never _git_ asked don't git up and grab it.--Don't spill nothin' on the tablecloth, or like's not Mis' Bird'll send yer away from the table--'n' I hope she will if yer do! (Susan! keep your handkerchief in your lap where Peory can borry it if she needs it, 'n' I hope she'll know when she does need it, though I don't expect it.) Now we'll try a few things ter see how they'll go! Mr. Clement, do you eat cramb'ry sarse?" "Bet yer life!" cried Clem, who in the excitement of the moment had not taken in the idea exactly and had mistaken this for an ordinary bosom-of-the-family question. "Clement McGrill Ruggles, do you mean to tell me that you'd say that to a dinner-party? I'll give ye one more chance. Mr. Clement, will you take some of the cramb'ry?" "Yes, marm, thank ye kindly, if you happen ter have any handy." "Very good, indeed! But they won't give yer two tries to-night,--yer just remember that!--Miss Peory, do you speak for white or dark meat?" "I ain't perticler as ter color,--anything that nobody else wants will suit me," answered Peory with her best air. "First-rate! Nobody could speak more genteel than that. Miss Kitty, will you have hard or soft sarse with your pudden?" "Hard or soft? Oh! A little of both, if you please, an' I'm much obliged," said Kitty, bowing with decided ease and grace; at which all the other Ruggleses pointed the finger of shame at her, and Peter _grunted_ expressively, that their meaning might not be mistaken. "You just stop your gruntin', Peter Ruggles; that warn't greedy, that was all right. I wish I could git it inter your heads that it ain't so much what yer say, as the way you say it. And don't keep starin' cross-eyed at your necktie pin, or I'll take it out 'n' sew it on to Clem or Cornelius: Sarah Maud'll keep her eye on it, 'n' if it turns broken side out she'll tell yer. Gracious! I shouldn't think you'd ever seen nor worn no jool'ry in your life.--Eily, you an' Larry's too little to train, so you just look at the rest an' do's they do, 'n' the Lord have mercy on ye 'n' help ye to act decent! Now, is there anything more ye'd like to practice?" "If yer tell me one more thing, I can't set up an' eat," said Peter gloomily; "I'm so cram full o' manners now I'm ready ter bust, 'thout no dinner at all."