China -- History -- 20th century -- Fiction; Missionaries, Medical -- Fiction
He made a move, as though he would get out of his chair, but suddenly
he sat down again and with a gesture swift but light he put his hand
over hers. Their eyes meeting were as startled as though they had
run into each other in an unexpected place. She could not doubt,
seeing his eyes, that he was as unprepared as she for the impulse
that he unthinkingly followed. But he did not move his hand away,
and Megan looked down at it. The pressure was so slight she scarcely
felt it, but as she looked at it a tingle of repulsion ran from his
fingers up her arm, a repulsion definite enough to be an actual
shudder of pain. It ebbed gradually, drained off, and a
counter-current of magnetism took its place. This flowed more
deliberately, expanding into slow heat, setting in motion a vibration
of the blood which hummed in her ears like a shell held against them.
A delicate, dim anæsthesia settled over her like a cloud, her pupils
dilated a little, her muscles relaxed. She felt herself slipping
loosely toward something that awaited her. The weakness that drew
her toward it made her feel it must be evil, yet it could not be so
simple as that. It was at once familiar and strange, compelling and
repellent, eternal and yet it passed from her like a breath. Megan
jerked her hand away and held it tightly with her other hand as
though it had been touched by fire. She breathed in astonished
little gasps, startled as much by the rescue as by the danger. Her
salvation seemed to have come from without and to be miraculous. She
faced the General coldly and said as though some one else had
prompted her:
"What did you finally do about Mah-li?"
She caught only a last glow on the General's face before it darkened
into obstinacy. He did not answer. He leaned back in his chair and
tapped on the table with his fingers.
"What a pity," he said so low she could scarcely catch the words.
"For a moment then you were as lovely as you were meant to be."
But Megan insisted. "Where is Mah-li now?"
After a moment's silence, the General looked at her as coldly as she
at him.
"She is probably dead," he said in his harsh official voice.
"Probably dead! You don't mean you----?"
"She allied herself with Communists. I allowed her to share their
punishment."
"You did that! But you couldn't have done that when you knew how I
felt! I can't believe it of you, you couldn't have done that!"
Megan was suddenly thrown again into a state of inner disorder. It
was quite true that she could not believe it of him. He had always
seemed to her so deeply vulnerable. Even in moments like those just
past, when his influence over her had been most powerful, there had
always seemed to be in him the germ of defeat. And now he had proved
himself impervious, adamant.
"Yes, I did just that," he said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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