China -- History -- 20th century -- Fiction; Missionaries, Medical -- Fiction
"And you are wrong too about my not looking on you as a human being.
I realize how human you are, and it is because I do that I wanted to
save you from what you just called the excesses of your temperament.
I was afraid in that instance we spoke of this afternoon (I won't
speak of it again because I know you did as I asked) that you might
be carried away by jealousy and revenge. I wanted you to put them
out of your heart and do a very beautiful act of mercy instead."
"You accuse me of all excesses, even the grossest," exclaimed the
General. "Are all excesses alike to you? Because I drink often
until I am overcome, because I admire women easily, because I love
painting and fireworks, do you think I am capable of jealousy, of
anger, of revenge? Miss Davis, the things you speak of, the excesses
which make a man disgusting and ridiculous, were all overcome for me
by the patience and wisdom of my remotest ancestors. Those which
they have permitted me to keep may seem equally repellent to you, but
they do not seem so to me. No," he cried emphatically, "I am
incapable of these things you speak of. You will never make me over
in that way, Miss Davis. You will never turn me into a creature of
emotion and impulse and blind energy. No matter how much you urge me
to overcome qualities I don't possess."
Megan hesitated over her answer, she really had not been listening
carefully to what he said, because she was more occupied in the
change which had come over him. His voice, his expression, had
changed. He did not seem as before to be amused, charmed, irritated,
as though he played with an unruly child, who in the excitement of
the game might even be expected to hurl a brick at his head. He was
suddenly neither amused nor charmed, he was not even irritated. She
did not know if he was angry but she felt that he must be more deeply
disturbed than she had ever seen him. She could not understand why.
"But what is it?" she exclaimed. "If I misjudge you I am sorry."
"Sorry!" exclaimed the General. "What could make you regret
anything! Your energy would merely carry you on to something else."
"But what are we talking about? I don't want to hurt you."
"Don't you?" cried the General.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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