A year later John Fellows was married. In spite of Abner’s scorn the
proceeding was natural enough. The man was under forty, and had been a
widower for more than fourteen years. The new wife, the woman of the
tunnel, was a girl named Alice Higgins, the elder daughter of an old
friend of Fellows, the timekeeper at the colliery, who had lost his left
leg many years ago in a crushing fall of coal. She was tall, slight,
with a fair complexion and honey-coloured hair: in every physical
particular the opposite of her swart and stubby husband. If such a thing
had to be, Abner would have preferred the maturer charms of Mrs Moseley,
whom he knew so well and liked, to those of any stranger. Indeed, from
the day of his father’s marriage onward his life became more complicated.
The very presence in the house of this new inmate, a woman wielding
authority, whom he remembered only a little time ago as a girl with a
pigtail down her back, made him awkward. His father had never even
mentioned their meeting in the lane—probably he had not recognised Abner,
but the boy was certain that Alice had seen him and remembered. The
consciousness of this mystery that they shared only aggravated the
distrust and shyness that separated them: a shyness which Alice herself
honestly tried to overcome by little overtures of affection. She was
quite determined, in her quiet way, that she wasn’t going to be like the
stepmothers of tradition. She would try to be a real mother to Abner.
But how did real mothers feel?
‘Why don’t you call me mother, like other boys would, Abner?’ she said
one day, coaxingly. Abner only laughed. She hated him for laughing at
her. A boy of his age!
But the real trouble did not begin till a year later when the first baby
of the new family was coming. It was a bad time for all of them. John
Fellows, after fifteen years of a widower’s life, had forgotten anything
that he had ever learnt in the way of matrimonial tactics. He wasn’t any
longer a young man, and his nature had inevitably stiffened. Besides,
the coming of this child was not like the adventure of Abner’s birth,
when he and his first wife had been two tender young people rather
overwhelmed by the responsibilities of marriage. Alice became more
conscious than ever of the gap of years that separated them, the distance
which had always been implicit in her idea of her father’s friend, ‘Mr
Fellows.’ With her it could never be naturally ‘John.’ And now that she
wanted somebody to take hold of her and share her fears she found herself
face to face with an elderly stranger. She was frightened at the thought
of being so utterly alone. Abner, a member of her own generation, and
the son of her baby’s father, was a symbol of the whole disastrous
circumstance.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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