Short stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
If such had been the case, I reasoned that it was altogether unlikely
that the trivial impression as to President Byxbee had been the only one
which I had received in that state. It was far more probable that it had
remained over in my mind, on waking from the swoon, merely because it
was the latest of a series of impressions received while outside the
body. That these impressions were of a kind most strange and startling,
seeing that they were those of a disembodied soul exercising faculties
more spiritual than those of the body, I could not doubt. The desire
to know what they had been grew upon me, till it became a longing which
left me no repose. It seemed intolerable that I should have secrets from
myself, that my soul should withhold its experiences from my intellect.
I would gladly have consented that the acquisitions of half my waking
lifetime should be blotted out, if so be in exchange I might be shown
the record of what I had seen and known during those hours of which my
waking memory showed no trace. None the less for the conviction of its
hopelessness, but rather all the more, as the perversity of our human
nature will have it, the longing for this forbidden lore grew on me,
till the hunger of Eve in the Garden was mine.
Constantly brooding over a desire that I felt to be vain, tantalized
by the possession of a clue which only mocked me, my physical condition
became at length affected. My health was disturbed and my rest at
night was broken. A habit of walking in my sleep, from which I had
not suffered since childhood, recurred, and caused me frequent
inconvenience. Such had been, in general, my condition for some time,
when I awoke one morning with the strangely weary sensation by which
my body usually betrayed the secret of the impositions put upon it in
sleep, of which otherwise I should often have suspected nothing. In
going into the study connected with my chamber, I found a number of
freshly written sheets on the desk. Astonished that any one should
have been in my rooms while I slept, I was astounded, on looking more
closely, to observe that the handwriting was my own. How much more than
astounded I was on reading the matter that had been set down, the reader
may judge if he shall peruse it. For these written sheets apparently
contained the longed-for but despaired-of record of those hours when
I was absent from the body. They were the lost chapter of my life; or
rather, not lost at all, for it had been no part of my waking life, but
a stolen chapter,--stolen from that sleep-memory on whose mysterious
tablets may well be inscribed tales as much more marvelous than this as
this is stranger than most stories.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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