Thus the three actors in the drama stood, when I became an inmate of
Hilltop, and accepted the master’s invitation to undertake some of the
minor classes in English, and stay on at the school indefinitely. It was
my wish to see the little play--a pleasant comedy, I hoped--move forward
to a happy ending. And yet--what was it that disturbed me now and then
with forebodings? Something, doubtless, in the character of Keene, for
he was the dominant personality. The key of the situation lay with
him. He was the centre of interest. Yet he was the one who seemed not
perfectly in harmony, not quite at home, as if something beckoned and
urged him away.
“I am glad you are to stay,” said he, “yet I wonder at it. You will find
the life narrow, after all your travels. Ulysses at Ithaca--you will
surely be restless to see the world again.”
“If you find the life broad enough, I ought not to be cramped in it.”
“Ah, but I have compensations.”
“One you certainly have,” said I, thinking of Dorothy, “and that one is
enough to make a man happy anywhere.”
“Yes, yes,” he answered, quickly, “but that is not what I mean. It is
not there that I look for a wider life. Love--do you think that love
broadens a man’s outlook? To me it seems to make him narrower--happier,
perhaps, within his own little circle--but distinctly narrower.
Knowledge is the only thing that broadens life, sets it free from the
tyranny of the parish, fills it with the sense of power. And love is the
opposite of knowledge. Love is a kind of an illusion--a happy illusion,
that is what love is. Don’t you see that?”
“See it?” I cried. “I don’t know what you mean. Do you mean that you
don’t really care for Dorothy Ward? Do you mean that what you have won
in her is an illusion? If so, you are as wrong as a man can be.”
“No, no,” he answered, eagerly, “you know I don’t mean that. I could not
live without her. But love is not the only reality. There is something
else, something broader, something----”
“Come away,” I said, “come away, man! You are talking nonsense, treason.
You are not true to yourself. You’ve been working too hard at your
books. There’s a maggot in your brain. Come out for a long walk.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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