"And the awkwardest fellow that ever blundered into a parlor. You know the night he waited on me to Hetty's party? he stepped on my toes so that I had to poultice them before I went to bed; he tore the train all off my pink tarlatan; he spilled a cup of hot coffee down old Mrs. Ballister's back, and upset his saucer of ice-cream over Ada's sweet new book-muslin. Why, girls, just as sure as I am standing here, I saw him cram the saucer into his pocket when Belle came up to speak with him! I tell you, I was glad to get home that night without any more accidents." "They say he always puts the tea-napkins into his pocket when he takes tea away from home. But it's not kleptomania, it's only bashfulness. I never heard before of his pocketing the saucers." "Well, he really did. It's awful funny. I don't know how we'd get along without John this winter--he makes all the fun we have. What's that?" "I don't know, it sounded like rats gnawing the floor." (It was only the amusing John gritting his teeth, I am able to explain). "Did you ever notice his mouth?--how large it is." "Yes, it's frightful. I don't wonder he's ashamed of himself with that mouth." "I don't mind his mouth so much--but his _nose_! I never did like a turn-up nose in a man. But his father's pretty well off. It would be nice to marry a whole store full of dry-goods and have a new dress every time you wanted one. I wonder where they have gone to! I believe I'll rap." The last speaker seized the yard-stick and thumped on the counter directly over my head. "Oh, girls! let's go behind, and see how they keep things. I wonder how many pieces of dress-silk there are left!" "I guess I'll go behind the counter, and play clerk. If any one comes in, I'll go, as sure as the world! and wait on 'em. Won't it be fun? There comes old Aunty Harkness now. I dare say she is after a spool of thread or a paper of needles. I'm going to wait on her. Mr. Flutter won't care--I'll explain when he comes in. What do you want, auntie?" in a very loud voice. My head buzzed like a saw--my heart made such a loud thud against my side I thought stars! she wanted "an ounce o' snuff," and that article was kept in a glass jar in plain sight on the other side of the store. There was a movement in that direction, and I recovered partially, I half resolved to rise up suddenly--pretend I'd been hiding for fun--and laugh the whole thing off as a joke. But the insulting, the ridiculous comments I had overheard, had made me too indignant. Pretty joke, indeed! But I wished I had obeyed the dictates of prudence and affected to consider it so. Father came bustling in while the girls were trying to tie up the snuff, and sneezing beautifully. "What! what! young ladies! Where's John?" "That's more than we know--tschi-he! We've been waiting at least ten minutes. Auntie Harkness wanted some stch-uff, and we thought we'd do it for her. I s'pose you've no objections, Mr. Flutter?"