The Blunders of a Bashful ManVictor, Metta Victoria Fuller
General
The Blunders of a Bashful Man
Victor, Metta Victoria Fuller
Humorous stories; Young men -- Fiction
When I sat down by the elderly lady in the railway train, I felt
comparatively at ease. She was older than mother, and I didn't mind
her rather aggressive looks and ways; in short, I seemed to feel that
in case of necessity she would protect me. Not that I was afraid of
anything, but she would probably at least keep me from proposing to
any more young ladies. Alas! how _could_ I have any presentiment of
the worse danger lurking in store for me? How could I, young,
innocent, and inexperienced, foresee the unforeseeable? I could not.
Reviewing all the circumstances by the light of wiser days, I still
deny that I was in any way, shape, or manner to blame for what
occurred. I sat in my half of the seat, occupying as little room as
possible, my eyes fixed on the crimson plush cushions of the seat
before me, my thoughts busy with the mortifying past, and the great
unknown future into which I was blindly rushing at the rate of thirty
miles an hour--sat there, dreading the great city into which I was so
soon to plunge--when a voice, closely resembling vinegar sweetened
with honey, said, close to my ear:
"Goin' to New York, sir?"
"Yes, ma'am," I answered, coming out of my reverie with a little jump.
"I'm real glad," said my companion, taking off her blue spectacles,
and leaning toward me confidentially; "so I am. I'm quite unprotected,
sir, quite, and I shall be thankful to place myself under your care.
I'm goin' down to the city to buy my spring stock o' millinery, an'
any little attention you can show me will be gratefully
received--gratefully. I don't mind admitting to _you_, young man, for
you look pure and uncorrupted, that I am terribly afraid of men. They
are wicked, heartless creatures. I feel that I might more safely trust
myself with ravening wolves than with men in general, but _you_ are
different. _You_ have had a good mother."
"Yes, ma'am, I have," I responded, rather warmly.
I was pleased at her commendation of me and mother, but puzzled as to
the character of the danger to which she referred. I finally concluded
that she was afraid of being robbed, and I put my lips close to her
ear, so that no one should overhear us, and asked:
"Do you carry your money about you?--you ought not to run such a risk.
I've been told there are always one or more thieves on every express
train."
"My dear young friend," she whispered back, very, very close in my
ear, "I was not thinking of money--_that_ is all in checks, safely
deposited in--in--in te-he! inside the lining of my waist. I was only
referring to the dangers which ever beset the unmarried lady,
especially the unsophisticated maiden, far, far from her native
village. Why, would you believe it, already, sir, since I left home, a
man, a _gentleman_, sitting in the very seat where you sit now, made
love to me, out-and-out!"
"Made love to you?" I stammered, shrinking into the farthest corner,
and regarding her with undisguised astonishment.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account