She did not seem, crouched there like an old cat warming herself in the
first keen fires of spring, conscious of anything about her; of the low
house, with its battered eaves, the sprawling rail-fence in front of it,
out of which the gate was gone, like a tooth; of the wild bramble of
roses, or the generations of honeysuckle which had grown, layer upon
layer--the under stratum all dead and brown--over the decaying arbor
which led up to the cracked front door. She did not seem conscious that
time and poverty had wasted the beauties of that place; that shingles
were gone from the outreaching eaves, torn away by March winds; that
stones had fallen from the chimney, squatting broad-shouldered at the
weathered gable; that panes were missing from the windows, their places
supplied by boards and tacked-on cloth, or that pillows crowded into
them, making it seem a house that stopped its ears against the
unfriendly things which passengers upon the highway might speak of it.
Time and poverty were pressing upon Sarah Newbolt also, relaxing there
that bright hour in the sun, straying away from her troubles and her
vexations like an autumn butterfly among the golden leaves, unmindful of
the frost which soon must cut short its day. For, poor as she was in all
that governments put imposts upon, and men list in tax returns and carry
to steel vaults to hoard away, Sarah Newbolt had her dreams. She had no
golden past; there was no golden future ready before her feet. There was
no review for her in those visions of happy days and tender memories,
over which a woman half closes her eyes and smiles, or over the incense
of which a man's heart softens. Behind her stretched a wake of
turbulence and strife; ahead of her lay the banked clouds of an
unsettled and insecure future.
But she had her dreams, in which even the poorest of us may indulge when
our taskmaster in the great brickworks of this hot and heavy world is
not hard by and pressing us forward with his lash. She had her dreams of
what never was and never could be; of old longings, old heart-hungers,
old hopes, and loves which never had come near for one moment's caress
of her toil-hardened hand. Dreams which roved the world and soothed the
ache in her heart by their very extravagance, which even her frugal
conscience could not chide; dreams which drew hot tears upon her cheeks,
to trickle down among her knotted fingers and tincture the bitterness of
things unrealized.
The crunch of wheels in the road now startled her from her profitless
excursions among the mist of visions and dreams. She lifted her head
like a cow startled from her peaceful grazing, for the vehicle had
stopped at the gap in the fence where the gate should have stood warder
between its leaning posts.
"Well, he's come," said she with the resignation of one who finds the
long expected and dreaded at hand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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