Tommy's alluz playin' jokes, An' actin' up, an' foolin' folks; An' wunst one time he creep In Pa's big chair, he did, one night, An' squint an' shut his eyes bofe tight, An' say, "Now I 'm asleep." An' nen we knowed, an' Ma know' too, He _ain't_ asleep no more 'n you! [Illustration] An' wunst he clumbed on our back'fence An' flop his arms an' nen commence To crow, like he's a hen; But when he failed off, like he done, He didn't fool us childern none, Ner didn't _crow_ again. An' our Hired Man, as he come by, Says, "Tom can't _crow_, but he kin _cry_." * * * * * [Illustration: "PORE PA! PORE PA!"] * * * * * LITTLE DICK AND THE CLOCK When Dicky was sick In the night, and the clock, As he listened, said "Tick- Atty--tick-atty--tock!" He said that _it_ said, Every time it said "Tick," It said "Sick," instead, And he _heard_ it say "Sick!" And when it said "Tick- Atty--tick-atty--tock," He said it said "Sick- Atty--sick-atty--sock!" And he tried to _see_ then, But the light was too dim, Yet he _heard_ it again-- And't was _talking_ to him! And then it said "Sick- Atty--sick-atty--sick You poor little Dick- Atty--Dick-atty--dock! Have you got the hick- Atties? Hi! send for Doc To hurry up quick Atty--quick-atty--quock, And heat a hot brick- Atty--brick-atty--brock, [Illustration] And rikle-ty wrap it And clickle-ty clap it Against his cold feet- Al-ty--weep-aty--eepaty-- _There_ he goes, slapit- Ty--slippaty--sleepaty!" * * * * * FOOL-YOUNGENS Me an' Bert an' Minnie-Belle Knows a joke, an' we won't tell! No, we don't--'cause we don't know _Why_ we got to laughin' so; But we got to laughin' so, "We ist kep' a-laughin'. Wind wuz blowin' in the tree-- An' wuz only ist us three Playin' there; an' ever' one Ketched each other, like we done, Squintin' up there at the sun Like we wuz a-laughin'. Nothin' funny anyway; But I laughed, an' so did they-- An' we all three laughed, an' nen Squint' our eyes an' laugh' again: Ner we didn't ist _p'ten'_-- We wuz _shore-'nough_ laughin'. * * * * * [Illustration: "SQUINT' OUR EYES AN' LAUGH' AGAIN"] * * * * * "We ist laugh' an' laugh', tel Bert Say he _can't_ quit an' it hurt. Nen I _howl_, an' Minnie-Belle She tear up the grass a spell An' ist stop her yeers an' _yell_ Like she'd _die_ a-laughin'. Never sich fool-youngens yit! Nothin' funny,--not a bit!-- But we laugh' so; tel we whoop' Purt'-nigh like we have the croup-- All so hoarse we'd wheeze an' whoop An' ist _choke_ a-laughin'. * * * * * THE KATYDIDS