But there is hazard--patents must be bought, Venders and puffers for the poison sought; And then in many a paper through the year, Must cures and cases, oaths and proofs appear; Men snatch'd from graves, as they were dropping in, Their lungs cough'd up, their bones pierced through their skin Their liver all one schirrus, and the frame Poison'd with evils which they dare not name; Men who spent all upon physicians' fees, Who never slept, nor had a moment's ease, Are now as roaches sound, and all as brisk as bees, If the sick gudgeons to the bait attend, And come in shoals, the angler gains his end: But should the advertising cash be spent, Ere yet the town has due attention lent, Then bursts the bubble, and the hungry cheat Pines for the bread he ill deserves to eat; It is a lottery, and he shares perhaps The rich man's feast, or begs the pauper's scraps. From powerful causes spring th' empiric's gains, Man's love of life, his weakness, and his pains; These first induce him the vile trash to try, Then lend his name, that other men may buy: This love of life, which in our nature rules, To vile imposture makes us dupes and tools; Then pain compels th' impatient soul to seize On promised hopes of instantaneous ease; And weakness too with every wish complies, Worn out and won by importunities. Troubled with something in your bile or blood, You think your doctor does you little good; And grown impatient, you require in haste The nervous cordial, nor dislike the taste; It comforts, heals, and strengthens; nay, you think It makes you better every time you drink; "Then lend your name "you're loth, but yet confess Its powers are great, and so you acquiesce: Yet think a moment, ere your name you lend, With whose 'tis placed, and what you recommend; Who tipples brandy will some comfort feel, But will he to the med'cine set his seal? Wait, and you'll find the cordial you admire Has added fuel to your fever's fire: Say, should a robber chance your purse to spare, Would you the honour of the man declare? Would you assist his purpose? swell his crime? Besides, he might not spare a second time. Compassion sometimes sets the fatal sign, The man was poor, and humbly begg'd a line; Else how should noble names and titles back The spreading praise of some advent'rous quack? But he the moment watches, and entreats Your honour's name,--your honour joins the cheats; You judged the med'cine harmless, and you lent What help you could, and with the best intent; But can it please you, thus to league with all Whom he can beg or bribe to swell the scrawl? Would you these wrappers with your name adorn Which hold the poison for the yet unborn? No class escapes them--from the poor man's pay, The nostrum takes no trifling part away: See! those square patent bottles from the shop, Now decoration to the cupboard's top; And there a favourite hoard you'll find within, Companions meet! the julep and the gin. Time too with cash is wasted; 'tis the fate