Next is the Club, where to their friends in town Our country neighbours once a month come down; We term it Free-and-Easy, and yet we Find it no easy matter to be free: E'en in our small assembly, friends among, Are minds perverse, there's something will be wrong; Men are not equal; some will claim a right To be the kings and heroes of the night; Will their own favourite themes and notions start, And you must hear, offend them, or depart. There comes Sir Thomas from his village-seat, Happy, he tells us, all his friends to meet; He brings the ruin'd brother of his wife, Whom he supports, and makes him sick of life; A ready witness whom he can produce Of all his deeds--a butt for his abuse; Soon as he enters, has the guests espied, Drawn to the fire, and to the glass applied - "Well, what's the subject?--what are you about? The news, I take it--come, I'll help you out:" - And then, without one answer he bestows Freely upon us all he hears and knows; Gives us opinions, tells us how he votes, Recites the speeches, adds to them his notes; And gives old ill-told tales for new-born anecdotes: Yet cares he nothing what we judge or think, Our only duty's to attend and drink: At length, admonish'd by his gout he ends The various speech, and leaves at peace his friends; But now, alas! we've lost the pleasant hour, And wisdom flies from wine's superior power. Wine like the rising sun, possession gains, And drives the mist of dulness from the brains; The gloomy vapour from the spirit flies, And views of gaiety and gladness rise: Still it proceeds; till from the glowing heat, The prudent calmly to their shades retreat: - Then is the mind o'ercast--in wordy rage And loud contention angry men engage; Then spleen and pique, like fireworks thrown in spite, To mischief turn the pleasures of the night; Anger abuses, Malice loudly rails, Revenge awakes, and Anarchy prevails; Till wine, that raised the tempest, makes its cease, And maudlin Love insists on instant peace; He, noisy mirth and roaring song commands, Gives idle toasts, and joins unfriendly bands: Till fuddled Friendship vows esteem and weeps, And jovial Folly drinks and sings and sleeps. -----------------------