To a large extent, moreover, the practice of being disagreeable is,
as the boys themselves report, merely “to get the chase.” “Plaguing
people” is an exciting sport, which satisfies a natural thirst for
adventure, and which is therefore most naturally controlled by
judicious doses of adventure in other forms. The joy of getting the
chase necessarily departs as soon as the running instincts begin to
fade, and the growing boy begins to encounter the gang’s prejudice
against fleeing from a pursuer not much stronger than himself.
Still, for the most part, this inconvenient impulse of boyhood is
largely a spontaneous instinct, allied to the disposition to tease
and bully. It is doubtful if it has any pedagogical value whatever.
Its proper cure is in about equal measure, firm repression and a
cultivation of the sympathetic imagination. But let the parent beware
of cultivating a sympathy which is in the least sentimental. It is
better to let the boy stay naturally cruel for a few years, and then
as naturally outgrow it, than to make him morbidly philanthropic for
life. After all, cruelty, however hard on the victim, so long as it is
unconscious, does little moral damage to the perpetrator.
The tendency to plague the girls, however, seems to be an instinct of
a different sort. In general, boys at the gang age do not naturally
associate with girls, do not allow them in their organizations, nor
have any interests in common with them. In fact, boys seem to be
impelled by a well defined impulse to make themselves disagreeable to
the other sex.
Only eleven of my reports so much as recognize the existence of the
beings who, five years later, will become the most absorbing objects
in life; while even in these, the information came only on inquiry,
not spontaneously. To the question: “How does your gang treat girls?”
typical answers are: “We never used to think of girls. I don’t know
how to treat them. I never tried it.” “We never used to go with any
girls.” “They never go round with any girls. They never say nothing to
them. Sis at them.” “Sometimes do mean things to them. Swear at them.
Fight them. Steal things off them. Call them names.”
Who can question that this instinctive hostility of boys to girls is a
wise provision of nature, and a good thing--at least for the boys? It
is a temporary stage which passes all too soon, and leaves the youth
at the mercy of the first attractive girl who makes the sweet eyes at
him. From ten years to sixteen, nature tries to keep the sexes apart;
presumably she knows what she is about, and we shall do well to accept
the hint which she offers us.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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