Fathers and sons -- Fiction; Runaway wives -- Fiction; Sportswriters -- Fiction
The red-headed boy up the block who had contributed disturbing ideas in
other fields also threw a bombshell into Peter's boyhood theology. "Can
God do anything?" was his catch question. "Of course He can," replied
Peter. "Well, I'll just bet you a million billion dollars He can't make
a trolley car go in two directions at the same time." Peter didn't see
how He could. He puzzled over the problem for months and at last he
decided that maybe God could work it by making the trolley car like an
elastic so that it could be stretched up town and down town at the same
time. It was not an entirely satisfactory solution of the problem. If a
passenger stood in the middle of the car he wouldn't get any place at
all.
But for the moment Peter was not much concerned with the potential
relationship between the Deity and young Peter. He could bide his time
and think up an answer for the day when the child should ask him, "Who's
God?" The immediate problem was what place he should fill on the
Bulletin. Eventually, of course, he would conduct the column called,
"Looking Them Over With Peter Neale." Already there were thirty-one
papers in the syndicate and some day Peter could step down and the
column would still be "Looking Them Over With Peter Neale."
It would be pleasant not to die in the office but to have ten years or
so with no worries as to whether Jim Jeffries could have beaten John L.
Sullivan in his prime. And he didn't want to go on forever writing on
the question of whether more nerve was required to hole a ten foot putt
in a championship match or bring down a halfback on the five yard line.
In those last ten years he would have all the fun of reading a Peter
Neale column without having to write it. The job had come to him by the
merest chance. But young Peter could be trained from the beginning for
the work. "I'll start his education right now," Peter resolved and then
he looked at the baby and decided that there didn't seem to be anything
specific which could be done immediately. Still an early start was
possible. Long division ought to be easy and interesting for a child who
knew that it was something used in computing batting averages. Of course
young Peter would receive an excellent general education. There wasn't
any reason why a sporting writer shouldn't be a person of well rounded
culture. Sometimes Peter regretted that his Harvard career had lasted
only a year. Probably his sporting poems might have been better if he
had been able to go on and take that course in versification. Fine arts
and history would not be a waste of time.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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