On the day before, after breakfast, Horace had summoned his landlady to
a consultation on the _menu_. "Nothing elaborate, you know, Mrs.
Rapkin," said Horace, who, though he would have liked to provide a feast
of all procurable delicacies for Sylvia's refection, was obliged to
respect her father's prejudices. "Just a simple dinner, thoroughly well
cooked, and nicely served--as you know so well how to do it."
"I suppose, sir, you would require Rapkin to wait?"
As the ex-butler was liable to trances on these occasions during which
he could do nothing but smile and bow with speechless politeness as he
dropped sauce-boats and plates, Horace replied that he thought of having
someone in to avoid troubling Mr. Rapkin; but his wife expressed such
confidence in her husband's proving equal to all emergencies, that
Ventimore waived the point, and left it to her to hire extra help if she
thought fit.
"Now, what soup can you give us?" he inquired, as Mrs. Rapkin stood at
attention and quite unmollified.
After protracted mental conflict, she grudgingly suggested gravy
soup--which Horace thought too unenterprising, and rejected in favour of
mock turtle. "Well then, fish?" he continued; "how about fish?"
Mrs. Rapkin dragged the depths of her culinary resources for several
seconds, and finally brought to the surface what she called "a nice
fried sole." Horace would not hear of it, and urged her to aspire to
salmon; she substituted smelts, which he opposed by a happy inspiration
of turbot and lobster sauce. The sauce, however, presented insuperable
difficulties to her mind, and she offered a compromise in the form of
cod--which he finally accepted as a fish which the Professor could
hardly censure for ostentation.
Next came the no less difficult questions of _entree_ or no _entree_, of
joint and bird. "What's in season just now?" said Horace; "let me
see"--and glanced out of the window as he spoke, as though in search of
some outside suggestion.... "Camels, by Jove!" he suddenly exclaimed.
"_Camels_, Mr. Ventimore, sir?" repeated Mrs. Rapkin, in some
bewilderment; and then, remembering that he was given to untimely
flippancy, she gave a tolerant little cough.
"I'll be shot if they _aren't_ camels!" said Horace. "What do _you_ make
of 'em, Mrs. Rapkin?"
Out of the faint mist which hung over the farther end of the square
advanced a procession of tall, dust-coloured animals, with long,
delicately poised necks and a mincing gait. Even Mrs. Rapkin could not
succeed in making anything of them except camels.
"What the deuce does a caravan of camels want in Vincent Square?" said
Horace, with a sudden qualm for which he could not account.
"Most likely they belong to the Barnum Show, sir," suggested his
landlady. "I did hear they were coming to Olympia again this year."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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