The Brass Bottle: A Farcical Fantastic Play in Four ActsAnstey, F.
Science
The Brass Bottle: A Farcical Fantastic Play in Four Acts
Anstey, F.
Fantasy drama; Jinn -- Drama
[_Going from him towards right._] I had not then discovered thy treachery.
HORACE.
You're barking up the wrong tree, as usual, you know. Come--tell me what
it's all about?
FAKRASH.
Not now. I will deal with thee hereafter, misbegotten cur that thou art!
[_He stalks towards window._
MRS. FUTVOYE.
[_From below fireplace, to HORACE._] You don't seem to be managing him very
well _so_ far.
PRINGLE.
[_Coming down to HORACE._] You gave us to understand that he would do
_anything_ for you.
HORACE.
So he will, generally--but not just now. [_Crossing to MRS. FUTVOYE and
SYLVIA, while FAKRASH remains apart, with his back to the others._] He's
suddenly turned nasty--I've no idea why. But I shall bring him round--in
time.
MRS. FUTVOYE.
It's my _husband_ who has to be brought round--and there's no time to be
lost!
HORACE.
I know--but if I press Fakrash in his present mood, I shall only make
matters worse.
PRINGLE.
Well, if you can't--or _won't_--get him to do something, one of _us_ must
try! Perhaps if Miss Sylvia could bring herself to appeal to his better
feelings----?
SYLVIA.
[_Shrinking back._] People who come out of bottles can't _have_ better
feelings! I couldn't--_really_, I couldn't.
PRINGLE.
You'd rather not? [_SYLVIA shudders._] Then I must see what _I_ can do.
MRS. FUTVOYE.
How _good_ of you!
HORACE.
[_Drawing PRINGLE back as he is going towards FAKRASH._] I _wouldn't_,
Pringle! He's in a vile temper. And, unless you're _anxious_ to become a
domestic animal of some sort----
SYLVIA.
_Pray_ don't run such a risk, dear Mr. Pringle!
PRINGLE.
I shall be very careful, and I trust that, with ordinary tact----[_He
makes a step towards FAKRASH._] Ahem! [_FAKRASH turns suddenly round with a
feline snarl; all retreat to left; PRINGLE pulls himself together and
tries again._] My--my dear sir, may I ask your attention for a few moments?
FAKRASH.
[_Striding towards him._] Who art _thou_?--a friend of yonder serpent's?
HORACE.
[_Indignantly._] Oh, I say! "Serpent," you know! "Serpent" is a bit----
[_FAKRASH ignores him._
PRINGLE.
No, no, I repudiate him. I represent this unfortunate family--_they_
repudiate him too.
MRS. FUTVOYE AND SYLVIA.
[_Together._] Yes, yes, indeed--_indeed_ we do!
[_HORACE sinks speechlessly on
chair by sofa on right._
FAKRASH.
[_To PRINGLE._] I will hearken unto thee, for indeed thou seemest a person
of abundant intelligence and excellent conduct.
PRINGLE.
You're very kind--I hope I _am_. Hem! [_Going nearer FAKRASH._] I am sure,
sir, that, if you had realised the serious embarrassment you have caused
the members of this household by transforming its head into a one-eyed
mule, you would never have allowed your--your sense of humour to carry you
so far.
FAKRASH.
For mine own safety was it accomplished--for the sage threatened to deliver
me into custody.
HORACE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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