The Brass Bottle: A Farcical Fantastic Play in Four ActsAnstey, F.
Science
The Brass Bottle: A Farcical Fantastic Play in Four Acts
Anstey, F.
Fantasy drama; Jinn -- Drama
[_As he speaks MR. WACKERBATH
bustles in from the door below the
arch on the left. HORACE goes
forward to meet him, PRINGLE
remaining by the fireplace in
wrathful astonishment._
MR. WACKERBATH.
[_Shaking hands effusively with HORACE._] My _dear_ Mr. Ventimore, I really
don't know _how_ to apologise, neither the wife nor myself down to receive
you! I do hope you haven't been waiting long?
HORACE.
Only just come, I assure you.
MR. WACKERBATH.
We have a private room, you see--the wife prefers it to the--ah--publicity
of the restaurant. [_The FIRST and SECOND WAITERS enter from the door
on the left above the arch._] If you'll excuse me for a moment, I'll just
see how they've arranged the table. [_He bustles up to the table._] Why,
hullo! What's _this_? Only four places! I ordered dinner for _six_!
FIRST WAITER.
I regret--but it is not my fault. I lay for six, and a gentleman assure me
I am wrong, it is for four person only.
MR. WACKERBATH.
Don't _talk_ about it--put it right at once. I want a chair in here--and
another here.
[_He remains by the table, while
the WAITERS replace chairs and
bring back plates, glasses, &c._
PRINGLE.
[_To HORACE._] Ventimore! [_HORACE crosses to fireplace._] Will you kindly
explain to your host that that's _my_ dinner-table he's taking these
liberties with?
HORACE.
I know nothing about it. You had better settle that with him yourself.
PRINGLE.
I intend to--presently.
[_He stands, nursing his grievance,
as MR. WACKERBATH comes down to
HORACE._
MR. WACKERBATH.
[_To HORACE._] Those fellows seem to have mistaken their orders. Lucky I
noticed it in time! [_MRS. WACKERBATH enters from the door below arch._]
Ah, here _is_ my wife! Eliza, my dear--[_presenting HORACE_]--our friend,
Mr. Ventimore.
MRS. WACKERBATH.
[_To HORACE, cordially, but with a nervous, fluttered manner._] Oh, how
do you _do_? I _am_ so pleased to meet you! I've been hearing so _much_
about you from my husband. [_She goes to sofa on the left, and sits._] It
will be _so_ delightful to have a home at last that is _really_ fit to live
in!
[_PRINGLE, hearing this, makes a
contemptuous ejaculation to
himself._
MR. WACKERBATH.
[_To HORACE._] I ought to tell you this is quite an _impromptu_ little
affair. The wife only came up this morning for a day or two in town, and
asked some old friends of ours to dinner. So I wired to you on the
off-chance of your being free to come and meet them.
MRS. WACKERBATH.
So kind of you to come on such short notice!
HORACE.
I was delighted.
MRS. WACKERBATH.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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