The Brass Bottle: A Farcical Fantastic Play in Four ActsAnstey, F.
Science
The Brass Bottle: A Farcical Fantastic Play in Four Acts
Anstey, F.
Fantasy drama; Jinn -- Drama
[_Soothingly, to PRINGLE._] There, there--you mustn't get excited about it.
[_He turns, and takes MR. WACKERBATH aside._] It's not what _you_ think.
Poor fellow! _His_ only excess is overwork. [_Turning to PRINGLE again._]
Now, now, Pringle, my dear fellow, you're not--not quite yourself, you
know--not quite _yourself_! Take my advice and go quietly home, and ask
your doctor to come and have a look at you.
PRINGLE.
[_Staggered._] So--so you're trying to make out now that--that I'm _mad_,
are you?
PROFESSOR FUTVOYE.
Mad? No, no--only a little out of sorts. You've been working rather too
hard, you know, that's all! All you want is a thorough rest.
MR. WACKERBATH.
Yes, yes. A sea-voyage, now. Trip round the world. Set you up in no time!
MRS. FUTVOYE.
[_Approaching PRINGLE._] _Do_ go round the world, Mr. Pringle. You'll come
back cured of all these fancies!
PRINGLE.
[_Reeling back a step or two._] Fancies!... Ventimore! [_HORACE goes to
him, while the others form a group on the left and discuss PRINGLE'S case
with pitying concern._] I've been a fool--I see that now. They're not
pretending--they really _have_ forgotten!
HORACE.
Completely. Fakrash hasn't foozled _that_--for a wonder! I ought to have
included _you_; but--well, one can't think of _everything_--I forgot. I can
only say I'm sorry.
PRINGLE.
But they all think I'm mad! [_He sinks on the sofa by fireplace._] _You_
know I'm not _that_! [_With sudden doubt._] _Am_ I?
HORACE.
[_Patting him on the shoulder._] Not a bit, my dear fellow,--you're as sane
as I am.
PRINGLE.
[_With relief._] I _knew_ I was! But _tell_ 'em so--tell 'em it's all true!
HORACE.
I can't. They'd only think _I_ was mad, too.
PRINGLE.
[_In despair._] But you _must_ get me out of this somehow,--or I shall be
ruined! Who'd employ a mad architect?
HORACE.
[_Reflecting._] I'll get you out of it, if I can. But I shall have to
stretch the truth a bit,--so mind you back up everything I say.
PRINGLE.
I will--I will! I'll say anything, do anything!
HORACE.
Then here goes! [_He turns to the others, and comes towards centre._] Oh,
er--Mrs. Wackerbath--[_the others break off their conversation and listen
to him_]--I've found out what's the matter with Mr. Pringle,--and I know
you'll all be glad to hear that it's nothing serious. [_Murmur of
sympathetic relief from the others._] It seems he's been spending the
afternoon with his dentist, and--[_turning to PRINGLE_]--was it two or
_three_ back teeth you had out, Pringle?
PRINGLE.
[_Sullenly._] One. Only _one_.
HORACE.
[_To the others._] Only _one_. But under an anæsthetic. [_To PRINGLE, as
before._] Nitrous oxide, Pringle, or ether?
PRINGLE.
I can't say--I didn't inquire.
HORACE.
[_To the others._] Naturally--he _wouldn't_ inquire. But--well, _you_ know
what ef--I mean, anæsthetics _are_!
ALL (EXCEPT PRINGLE).
To be sure! Yes, yes. Of course!
HORACE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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