The Breaking of the Storm, Vol. I.Spielhagen, Friedrich
General
The Breaking of the Storm, Vol. I.
Spielhagen, Friedrich
Fiction
She walked up and down the room, wringing her hands and sobbing, now
throwing herself upon a chair and gazing wildly before her, now
starting up and again wandering about with gestures of despair. The
loud clang of the great bell caught her attention for a moment. She
knew that it was something quite unusual--perhaps some great accident
had happened: a boiler burst, the saws of one of the machines bent, and
the wall to which it was fastened pulled down and in ruins, as had
happened a few months ago; perhaps a fire--what did it signify to her
whether people were crushed and killed, or all burnt together? Was not
she broken and wounded in soul and body, wandering amongst the ruins of
the happiness which had never existed except in her dreams! A
despairing woman, to whom a hair shirt would be suitable and ashes on
her head, that head that she had once carried so proudly--like her
father! It was all his fault. He it was, who had declared war between
them! And he did not know yet; but the hour was coming soon, even
to-day if she were followed--and then?
She had lain awake the whole night thinking over that question; she had
racked her mind over it the whole morning. And then? and then?
How could she alone find an answer without him? And he--he! When last
night she described in a few hasty words the scene that had taken place
at table, had he given the one only answer that she had expected--"Then
we must try to settle it without our fathers' consent!" He had answered
nothing, not a word! and his silence confirmed what she had most
feared--the only thing that she had feared and dreaded--that he was not
prepared to carry the matter out to the last, to its extreme end--that
he did not love her as she loved him!
Of what use were her courage and determination? She was helpless!
She--helpless!
She stood still before a looking-glass which she was just passing. She
examined her face, her figure as though she were the model whom she had
ordered for the next day, and wished to see whether the form thus
reflected were really what it laid claim to be. Was she really as
beautiful as they all said? Was the great French sculptor right who
came to see Justus last year, and at sight of her stood thunderstruck,
and then exclaimed that till he saw her he had never believed that
nature could have produced so perfect a form.
But Antonio, too, was beautiful--beautiful as a dream, and yet she did
not love him. And was he, who was not even an artist--was he to let
beauty alone so fascinate him that he should give up family prejudice,
rank, social position, all--for what? A woman never asks such questions
if she loves; she makes no calculations, no bargains--she loves, and
gives freely, joyfully, everything that she has to give--she gives
herself.
She leaned back in her chair, buried her face in the cushions, and shut
her eyes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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