The Breaking of the Storm, Vol. II.Spielhagen, Friedrich
General
The Breaking of the Storm, Vol. II.
Spielhagen, Friedrich
Fiction
She had tried to work, to put the finishing touches to the "Reaping
Girl," but her hand had been hopeless, powerless, as in her first
attempts, and she had recollected, not without a shudder, that she had
vowed not to finish the group. The vow had been--contrary to her
anticipations--a forerunner of happiness. What was to her this
miserable image of jealous revenge? How worthless appeared to her all
this extensive apparatus of her work--this lofty room, these pedestals,
these mallets, chisels, modelling-tools; these casts of arms, hands,
feet; these heads, these busts from the originals of old masters; her
own sketches, attempts, completed works--childish strivings with
bandaged eyes for a happiness that was not to be found here--that was
only to be found in love, the sole, true talent of woman--her talent,
of which she felt that it was unique, that it outshone everything that
had till then been felt as love and called love!
She could not bear her room this morning; even her studio seemed too
small. She stepped into the garden, and wandered along the paths,
between the shrubs, under the trees, from whose rustling branches drops
of the night's rain fell upon her. How often had she hated the bright
sunshine, the blue sky, that had seemed to mock at her anguish! She
looked in triumph now up into the grey clouds that passed, dark and
heavy, above her head. What need had she of sun and light--she in whose
heart was nothing but light and brightness? The drizzling rain that now
began to fall would only serve to cool the internal fire that
threatened to consume her. Driving clouds, drizzling rain, rustling
trees, whispering shrubs, even the damp, black earth--all was
wonderfully beautiful in the reflection of her love!
She went in again and seated herself in the place where he had kissed
her, and dreamed again that happy dream, while near at hand was
hammering and knocking, and, between whiles, chattering and whispering,
and the rain rattled against the tall window--dreamed that her dream
had the power to draw him to her, who now opened the door softly
and--it was only a dream--came towards her with the tender smile on his
dear lips and the beautiful light in his dark eyes, till suddenly the
smile died on his lips, and only the eyes still gleamed, but no longer
with tender light, but with the gloomy, melancholy depths of her
father's eyes. And now they were not only her father's eyes; it was
more and more himself--her father. Good God!
She had started out of her doze; her limbs trembled; she sank back in
the chair, and drew herself up again. She had seen at once in the
glance of his eyes, in the letter which he held in his hand--seen
with the first half-waking glance why he had come. She said so, in
half-awake, wild, passionate words.
He had bent his head, but he did not contradict her; he answered
nothing but "My poor child!"
"I am your child no longer if you do this to me."
"I fear you have never been so in your heart."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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