The Breaking of the Storm, Vol. III.Spielhagen, Friedrich
General
The Breaking of the Storm, Vol. III.
Spielhagen, Friedrich
Fiction
"So will he rage," said Valerie, shuddering, "when he comes to-morrow
and demands his victim, and she does not and will not follow him, if he
does his worst, even if he annihilates her.
"Yes, Elsa, he is coming to-morrow; I found the letter when we came in.
The diabolical scheme is ripe, which is to be the destruction of you,
Ottomar--all of you. I myself only partly know this scheme. Hard as his
heart is, he has yet discovered that my heart has gone from him--how
much, how entirely, he does not know, he does not even suspect, or she
whom he once loved as well as he is capable of loving, and who so
passionately loved him, would certainly no longer be alive. Yes, my
dearest Elsa, I must begin with this terrible confession, or you would
not understand the worse things that remain for me to tell. You would
look upon me as the most degraded of our sex; even your loving heart
could not absolve me--if indeed it ever can do so!
"I loved him with an infinite, unholy love, the fiend, who to this day
entraps all who come under his pernicious influence, and whom you must
have known in the beauty and lustre of his youth, to conceive how even
good women found it hard to resist his fascinations.
"I was not absolutely bad, but neither was I good--not in my heart at
least, which longed eagerly for fuller joy; nor was my imagination so
pure as not to be allured and captivated by the world and its glory. I
may have been so unhappily constituted by nature, or the frivolity and
luxury of the court life to which I was so early introduced may have
corrupted my young heart, I do not know, but so it was that my heart
and imagination were alike undisciplined and uncontrolled. How
otherwise could it have been that the bride, whose wedding was to take
place in a few weeks, fell desperately in love in one moment with a man
whom she saw for the first time, and against whom, moreover, even her
dulled conscience warned her, and that, in spite of all and of the
utter hopelessness of this passion which she could not tear from her
heart and--shame and misery!--with this passion for a stranger in her
heart, she stood with her betrothed, in God's sight, before the altar,
to plight him that troth which she had already broken in her heart, and
which, indeed, she had already more than half resolved to break in
reality.
"Do you shudder, my poor darling? I can tell you she had friends who
would not have shuddered had they known! Yes, who knew it, and did not
shudder, who, laughing, pointed to one who had already done so, and
before whom no gentleman took off his hat the less respectfully, before
whom the nobles of the land did not bow less low, and to whom learned
men and artists did not the less render homage.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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