Dialect literature, American; German Americans -- Poetry; Humorous poetry, American; Wit and humor
Oh yes I know die wittwe,
Mit eyes so prite und proun!
She's de allerschoenste wittwe
Vot live in dis here down.
In her plack silk gown - mine grashious!-
All puttoned to de neck-
Und a pooty liddle collar,
Mitout a shpot or shpeck.
Ho! clear de drack you oder fraus-
You can't pegin to shine
Vhen de lofely vidder cooms along-
Dis vidder ash ish mine!
Ho! clear de drack you Yankee chaps,
You Englishers und sooch,
You can't pegin to coot me out,
Mitout you dalks in Dootch.
Ich hab die schoene wittwe
Schon lange nit gesehn,
Ich sah sie gestern Abend
Wohl bei dem Counter Stehn.
Die Wangen rein wie Milch and Blut
Die Augen hell und klar.
Ich hab sie sechsmal auch gekusst-
Potztausend! das ist wahr.[10]
BREITMANN IN BATTLE
"TUNC TAPFRE AUSFUHRERE STREITUM ET RITTRIS DIGNUM POTUERE ERIAGERE
LOBUM."
"Hiltibraht enti Hadubrant."
DER FADER UND DER SON.[11]
I DINKS I'll go a vightin'" - outshpoke der Breitemann.
"It's eighdeen hoonderd fordy-eight since I kits swordt in hand;
Dese fourdeen years mit Hecker all roostin' I haf been,
Boot now I kicks der Teufel oop and goes for sailin' in."
"If you go land out-ridin'," said Caspar Pickletongue,
"Foost ding you knows you cooms across some repels prave and young.
Away down Sout' in Tixey, dey'll split you like a clam"-
"For dat," spoke out der Breitmann, "I doos not gare one tam!
"Who der Teufel pe's de repels, und vhere dey kits deir sass?
If dey make a run on Breitmann he'll soon let out de gas;
I'll shplit dem like kartoffels; I'll schlog em on de kop;
I'll set de plackguarts roonin' so, dey don't know vhere to shtop."
Und de outshpoke der Breitmann, mit his schlaeger py his side:
"Forvarts, my pully landsmen! it's dime to run and ride;
Vill riden, vill vighten - der Copitain I'll pe,
It's sporn und horn und saddle now - all in de Cavallrie!"
Und ash dey rode droo Vinchesder, so herrlich to be seen,
Dere coomed some repel cavallrie a riden' on de creen;
Mit a sassy repel Dootchman - an colonel in gommand,
Says he, "Vot Teufel makes you here in dis mein Faderland?
"You're dressed oop like a shentleman mit your
plackguart Yankee crew,
You mudsills and meganics! Der Teufel put you droo!
Old Yank, you ought to shtay at home und dake your liddle horn,
Mit some oldt voomans for a noorse" - der Breitmann
laugh mit shkorn.
"Und should I trink mein lager beer und roost mine self to home?
I'fe got too many dings like you to mash beneat' my thoom:
In many a fray und fierce foray dis Dootchman will be feared
Pefore he stops dis vightin' trade - 'twas dere he grayed
his peard."
"I pools dat peard out py de roots - I gifes him such a dwist
Dill all de plood roons out, you tamned old Apolitionist!
You creenpacks mit your swordt und vatch, right ofer
you moost shell,
Und den you goes to Libby stright - und after dat to h-ll!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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