"A gandertate for sheriff de coose-beholders run Who shvear de coose de noblest dings vot valk peneat' de sun; For de cooses safe de Capidol in Rome long dimes ago, Und Horrisburg need safin' mighty pad, ash all do know.[31] "Acainsd dis mighdy Coose-man anoder veller rose, Who keepedt himself ungommon shtill vhen oders came to plows; Und if any ask how 'twas he shtoodt, his friendts wouldt vink so loose, Und vhisper ash dey dapped deir nose: 'He's soundt oopon de coose! "'He's O.K. oopon de soobject:[32] shoost pet your pile on dat: On dis bartik'ler quesdion he indends to coot it fat.' So de veller cot elegded pefore de beople foundt On vhitch site of der coose it vas he shtick so awful soundt. "Und efer in America, hencevorwart from dat day, Ash mit de Native Mericans, de fashion vas to say- Likes well in de Kansas droples - de shap who tid not refuse To go mit beoples ash vanted him, vas soundt oopon der coose. "Dis shdory's all I hafe to dell," says Mishder Hiram Twine; "Und I advise Herr Breitmann shoost to vight id on dis line." De volk who of dese boledics would oder shapders read, Moost waiten for de segondt pardt of dis here Breitmann's Lied. II. 4.-HOW BREITMANN AND SMITH WERE REPORTED TO BE LOG-ROLLING ID hoppinet in de yar of crace, vhen all dese dings pegan, Dat Mishder Schmit, de shap who rooned acainsd der Breitmann, Vas a man who look like Mishder Twine so moosh dat beoples say Dey pliefe dey moost ge-brudert pe - Gott weiss in vot a vay! Und id vas also moosh be-marked - vhitch look shoost like a bruder- Dat vhen Twine vas vork on any side der Schmit vas on der oder A fery gommon dodge ish mit de arisdocracie; So dat votefer cardt doorns op, id's game for de familie! Nun, goot! Howefer dis might pe, 'tvas cerdain on dis hit Der Twine vas do his tyfelest to euchre Mishder Schmit; Und Schmit, I criefe to say, exglaimed: "Gaul darn me for a fool, But I'll smash old Dutch to cholera fits and rake the eternal pool!" So dey cot some liddle ledders, ash brifate ash could pe, Vhitch Breitmann writed long agone to friendts in Germany; Und dey brinted dem in efery vay to make de beoples laugh, Und comment on dem in de shtyle dat "sports" call "slasher-gaff." Dere-to - as vash known py shoodshment und glearly ascertained, Dat Breitmann hafe lossed money py a valse und schwindlin' friendt- So dey roon it droo de newsbapers, und shbeech to make pegan, Dat Breitmann shtole de gelt himself und rop de oder man.[33] Boot de ding dat jam de hardest on de men dat bull de vires, Und showed that Copitain Breitmann shtood pedween dwo heafy vires, Vas, pecause he vas a soldier - von could see id at a clanse- Dey had pud him in a tisdrigt vhere he hadn't half a shanse. For ash de pold solidaten ish more prafe ash oder mans, Dey moost lead de hope verloren und pattle in de vans; Und ash defeat ish honoraple to men in honor shtrict, Dey honor dem py puttin' em vhere dey're cerdain to be licked.