American fiction -- 20th century; Chicago (Ill.) -- Fiction; Journalists -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction
The next morning he was sorry he had not told Rose-Ann. But the moment
to tell had passed.... Life was going on as usual, ignoring these
private crises. Yes—he and Rose-Ann and Phyllis, just as if nothing had
happened, were going to the Artists’ Theatre Ball! Rose-Ann was going in
a Spanish dress with a wonderful shawl for which she had long awaited
the proper occasion, and Felix as a pirate, in green sash and orange
shirt.... They were going to dance—instead of, as would have seemed most
fitting to Felix, to discuss their destinies.
2
It was precisely this mere matter of dancing that now incongruously
troubled him.
Felix was not a dancing man. And that would have been all right, if he
had not wanted to dance. But he did want to dance! Even at this moment,
with so much more important things to think about, it began to occupy
all his thoughts. He wanted to dance. It was annoying not to be able
to.... He had more than once gone through the excruciating agony of
trying to learn. He had, in fact, learned, so far as one can learn
anything against which there operates some mysterious inward paralysis.
He knew the steps as well as he knew the multiplication table. But just
as sometimes in school there had come upon him a fatal helpless
confusion in which he was unable to remember whether nine times seven
was eighty-one or sixty-four, so it was when he tried to put his
knowledge in practice in a ballroom. He reminded himself of nothing so
much as the hapless hero of that old joke, who said, “Yes, I can dance,
except that the music bothers me and the girl gets in my way!”
And he might have accepted his inability to dance as a fact, and let it
go at that—except that it wasn’t a fact! Somehow, heaven only knew how,
half a dozen times in his adult life he _had_ been able to dance—and not
badly. But what were the circumstances which magically operated to
liberate him from this mysterious paralysis, he did not know. He never
knew whether he was going to be able to dance or not. He always went
fearing the worst, and generally it happened. Rose-Ann could not
understand it, because once when there had been impromptu dancing to a
phonograph after a dinner party at some one’s home, he had danced with
her without the slightest awkwardness; but when, while dancing with her
a second time, she whispered to him to ask some of the other girls to
dance, he became embarrassed, and made protestations of his inability.
She knew that he _could_ dance, and she at first regarded his attitude
as a kind of stupid stubbornness. But no scoldings, nor any patient
gentleness for that matter, was able to change it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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