American fiction -- 20th century; Chicago (Ill.) -- Fiction; Journalists -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction
Tonight Felix knew from the beginning that he was not going to be able
to dance. He sat in the box with Rose-Ann and Phyllis and Clive and
several of the players, utterly miserable. They had arrayed themselves
for the ball at the Artists’ Theatre, and that preliminary part of the
affair had been, as it always was, delightful. He wished one could dress
up to go to a ball, and then not go. The dressing, the showing off of
costumes, the banter, the laughter, the drinking of cocktails and black
coffee, all the preparations, had been good fun; but now commenced the
evening’s misery. Rose-Ann looked at him inquiringly as the orchestra
struck up a two-step, and he shook his head. No—he couldn’t do it
tonight. And so she stepped off in the arms of Clive. Phyllis—he had
never danced with Phyllis—was waiting, he thought, for him to ask her.
He doggedly leaned over the edge of the box and watched the dancers.
Why, he asked himself, had he come? He saw Phyllis a minute later,
dancing with a man in a pseudo-monkish costume, one of the actors. Elva
Macklin—had she taken that name Elva because she knew she was elvish, or
had the prevision of parents bestowed it upon her?—was dancing with
Gregory Storm. The box was vacated, except for Felix, who sat looking on
the scene with a jealous and angry eye.
A few pieces of coloured cloth, a bangle, some rouge, a military coat, a
shawl, a sash, a bit of lace, a strain of music, and these people were
transformed, one and all, out of their accustomed workaday mood, gone
happily into an atmosphere of fantasy such as with infinite labour was
created in the theatre. They were acting, all of them—not paying any
attention to what part any one else was acting, but content to be in an
environment in which their own play-impulses were released. They went as
in a dream—smiling, moved by the music as the leaves of a tree are moved
by the wind, surrendering themselves utterly to its influence. They were
not here, not here in this plush and gilt room, amid commonplace mortals
decorated with coloured cloth, but in some dreamland, some fairyland of
their own wishes. The person whom one held in one’s arms was not a real
person, in whom one was really interested, not a person to love or hate,
but a part of the dream. A wand had been waved over this assemblage,
commanding them to forget, to dream, to be free and happy and young. And
all of them, except himself only, had obeyed. Why could he not surrender
himself to this influence? Why must he remain, in spite of his sash and
coloured shirt, so obstinately and awkwardly and unhappily himself? Why
did not that music touch some secret spring in his soul, too, to make
him its creature, a leaf wind-blown on the tree of life? Why did his
eyes still see the persons underneath their costumes—the girls not as
dancing partners but as “personalities”? Personalities, indeed!—these
men and women had left their personalities gladly behind in the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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