American fiction -- 20th century; Chicago (Ill.) -- Fiction; Journalists -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction
COMING out on the street, swinging his stick, Felix was vividly
conscious of the outer world—it was as if the curtain had just risen
upon a stage scene. The shapes of the trees in the distance had all the
interest of a beautifully painted set—artificial, as scenery should be,
not aping nature, but symbolizing it. The houses that stood beside the
road were cardboard shapes that suggested great masses of brick and
stone. And the way the night sky bent down at the street-end to touch
the earth—that was marvelous.
The whole scene was refreshing. It had the beauty of something made to
be looked at. It was as if the outer-world were no longer the unnoted
background of a drama in which he was a baffled participant: he had
stepped out of the play now, he was a spectator—he could look on and
enjoy the spectacle.
There was a sense of vast release in his mind. The burden of emotion, of
pain, of grief, of anger, the intolerable burden of human illusion, was
lifted. His shoulders felt lighter, and he carried himself with a jaunty
air.
A man passed him—no spectator like himself of this play, but a
participant in it, a man to whom things really seemed to matter. With a
tired droop of the head and shoulders, putting one foot mechanically
before another, he was going home. Two girls passed, eagerly talking to
each other. None of them saw him, or the world through which they
moved—they were busy acting their parts, too busy thinking about
yesterday and tomorrow.
How good it was no longer to have a part to play—to be able to look on,
full of curiosity! He was like a disembodied spirit that wanders freely
upon the earth without a care. The world was beautiful. All the time
that he had been worrying about other things, it had been beautiful—and
he had been too passionately entangled in the coil of personal emotions
to notice.... The crooked branch of an elm, from which all but a few
leaves had fallen, drooping black against the luminous sky—the world had
been full of such things all along, and he had never paused to look
before.
It was pleasant to have a mind able to notice little things—like the
fantastic shadow that danced along the sidewalk, growing shorter and
longer and dodging about in front and behind—a mind that could dwell
upon light things, instead of revolving eternally in some cycle of hope
and fear. A leisurely, disinterested, curious mind!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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