Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Married women -- Fiction; Vermont -- Fiction
Then she asked him, "Neale, how do _you_ manage about all this? What do
you feel about all the capacity for being low and bad, that everybody
has? Aren't you afraid that they'll get the best of us, inevitably,
unless we let ourselves get so dull, and second-rate and passive, that
we can't even be bad? Are you afraid of being fooled? Do you believe in
yourself at all?"
He was silent for some time, his eyes steadily fixed on some invisible
realm. When he spoke it was with a firm, natural, unshaken accent. "Why,
yes, I think it very likely that I am being fooled all the time. But I
don't think it matters the least bit in the world beside the fact that I
love you. That's big enough to overtop everything else."
He raised his voice and spoke out boldly to the undefined specter in her
mind. "And if it's the mating instinct you mean, that may be fooling
both of us, because of our youth and bodily health . . . good heavens!
Isn't our love deep enough to absorb that a million times over, like the
water of a little brook flowing into the sea? Do you think _that_, which
is only a little trickle and a harmless and natural and healthy little
trickle, could unsalt the great ocean of its savor? Why, Marise, all
that you're so afraid of, all that they've made you so afraid of, . . .
it's like the little surface waves . . . well, call it the big storm waves
if you want to . . . but nothing at all, the biggest of them, compared to
the stillness in the depths of the sea. Why, I love you! Do I believe in
myself? Of course I believe in myself, because I have you."
She drew a long sigh and, closing her eyes, murmured, "I feel as though
I were lifted up on a great rock." After a moment, opening her eyes, she
said, "You are better than I, you know. I'm not at all sure that I could
say that. I never knew before that I was weak. But then I never met
strength before."
"You're not weak," he told her; adding quaintly, "maybe a little
overballasted; with brains and sensitiveness and under-ballasted with
experience, that's all. But you haven't had much chance to take on any
other cargo, as yet."
She was nettled at this, and leaving her slow, wide-winged poise in the
upper airs, she veered and with swallow-like swiftness darted down on
him. "That sounds patronizing and elder-brotherish," she told him. "I've
taken on all sorts of cargo that you don't know anything about. In ever
so many ways you seem positively . . . naive! You needn't go thinking that
I'm always highstrung and fanciful. I never showed that side to anybody
before, never! Always kept it shut up and locked down and danced and
whooped it up before the door. You know how everybody always thinks of
me as laughing all the time. I do wish everything hadn't been said
already so many times. If it weren't that it's been said so often, I'd
like to say that I have always been laughing to keep from crying."
"Why don't you say it, if that is what you mean?" he proposed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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