"Didn't you say something about a sacred concert?" he said. "Good Heavens," cried Daphne, jumping up. "I forgot all about it. It begins at thr--" Arrested by her husband's seraphic smile, she swung round and looked at the clock. Berry apostrophized the carpet. "Sweet are the uses of perversity," he said, with inimitable inflection. For a moment his wife eyed him, speechless with inindignation. Then: "I hope you've got ear-ache," she said. Berry settled himself among the cushions. "I have," he said, "But back-ache would have been worse." I sank back in my seat with an injured air. The coach swayed slightly, as it rattled over the points. The train was gathering speed. In the far corner of the compartment the brooch of a gay green hat winked at me over the top of The Daily Glass. "That's a nice thing," said I. "What?" said the girl, laying down her paper. "Oh, nothing. Only the train's run through the station I was going to get out at. That's all." "How tiresome for you!" "There are consolations. You would never have opened your small red mouth, but for my exclamation. And I should never have exclaimed, but for--" "It's very rude to make personal remarks." This severely. "Only when the person's plain or the remark rude. Note the alliteration." "What are you going to do? "Obey orders, I suppose." said I, pointing to the door. "'Wait until the train stops?'" "I think so," said I, looking at the flashing hedgerows. "You see, I've given up acting for the pictures. Otherwise, I should adjust my handcuffs, run along the foot-board, and dive in the direction of the nearest pond." "While I--?" "Lay perfectly still. You see, I should be carrying you in my teeth." "Thanks awfully." "Not at all. It's a great life." "It's a rotten death." "Possibly. Otherwise, you emerge from the infirmary to find that A Jump for Life has already left the Edgware Road for Reading and is eagerly expected at Stockton-on-Tees, that the company for which you work is paying twenty-seven percent and that rehearsals for Kicked to Death begin on Monday. However." I stopped. The girl was leaning back in her corner, laughing helplessly. "It's all very fine to laugh," said I. "How would you like to be carried a county and a half beyond your station?" "You should have asked before you got in." "Asked?" said I. "The only person I didn't ask was the traffic superintendent himself. They said he was away on his holiday." "They can't have understood what you said." "I admit my articulation is defective--has been ever since a fellow backed into my car at Brooklands, did it twenty pounds' worth of damage, and then sent in a bill for a new tail-lamp. At the same time--" Here another station roared by. I was too late to see the name. "I shall swear in a minute," said I. "I can feel it coming. I suppose we do stop somewhere, if only to coal, don't we?"