“Yes,” he said again, “I thought him very right in all he told me. At
last, one morning, in came my debtor, no more embarrassed than if he
didn’t owe me a sou. When I saw him I felt all the shame he ought to
have felt. I was like a criminal taken in the act; I was all upset.
The eighteenth Brumaire had just taken place. Public affairs were doing
well, the Funds had gone up. Bonaparte was off to fight the battle
of Marengo. ‘It is unfortunate, monsieur,’ I said, receiving Mongenod
standing, ‘that I owe your visit to a sheriff’s summons.’ Mongenod took
a chair and sat down. ‘I came to tell you,’ he said, ‘that I am totally
unable to pay you.’ ‘You made me miss a fine investment before the
election of the First Consul,--an investment which would have given me
a little fortune.’ ‘I know it, Alain,’ he said, ‘I know it. But what is
the good of suing me and crushing me with bills of costs? I have nothing
with which to pay anything. Lately I received letters from my wife and
father-in-law; they have bought land with the money you lent me, and
they send me a list of things they need to improve it. Now, unless some
one prevents it, I shall sail on a Dutch vessel from Flushing, whither I
have sent the few things I am taking out to them. Bonaparte has won the
battle of Marengo, peace will be signed, I may safely rejoin my family;
and I have need to, for my dear little wife is about to give birth to a
child.’ ‘And so you have sacrificed me to your own interests?’ said I.
‘Yes,’ he answered, ‘for I believed you my friend.’ At that moment I
felt myself inferior to Mongenod, so sublime did he seem to me as he
said those grand words. ‘Did I not speak to you frankly,’ he said,
‘in this very room? I came to you, Alain, as the only person who would
really understand me. I told you that fifty louis would be lost, but a
hundred I could return to you. I did not bind myself by saying when; for
how could I know the time at which my long struggle with disaster would
end? You were my last friend. All others, even our old master Bordin,
despised me for the very reason that I borrowed money of them. Oh! you
do not know, Alain, the dreadful sensation which grips the heart of an
honest man when, in the throes of poverty, he goes to a friend and asks
him for succor,--and all that follows! I hope you never may know it;
it is far worse than the anguish of death. You have written me letters
which, if I had written them to you in a like situation, you would have
thought very odious. You expected of me that which it was out of my
power to do. But you are the only person to whom I shall try to justify
myself. In spite of your severity, and though from being a friend you
became a creditor on the day when Bordin asked for my note on your
behalf (thus abrogating the generous compact you had made with me there,
on that spot, when we clasped hands and mingled our tears),--well, in
spite of all that, I have remembered that day, and because of it I have
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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