Brothers -- Fiction; Didactic fiction; Fathers and sons -- Fiction; Russia -- Social life and customs -- 1533-1917 -- Fiction
“No, excuse me,” Fyodor Pavlovitch broke in shrilly, taking another
step into the room. “Allow me to finish. There in the cell you blamed
me for behaving disrespectfully just because I spoke of eating gudgeon,
Pyotr Alexandrovitch. Miüsov, my relation, prefers to have _plus de
noblesse que de sincérité_ in his words, but I prefer in mine _plus de
sincérité que de noblesse_, and—damn the _noblesse_! That’s right,
isn’t it, von Sohn? Allow me, Father Superior, though I am a buffoon
and play the buffoon, yet I am the soul of honor, and I want to speak
my mind. Yes, I am the soul of honor, while in Pyotr Alexandrovitch
there is wounded vanity and nothing else. I came here perhaps to have a
look and speak my mind. My son, Alexey, is here, being saved. I am his
father; I care for his welfare, and it is my duty to care. While I’ve
been playing the fool, I have been listening and having a look on the
sly; and now I want to give you the last act of the performance. You
know how things are with us? As a thing falls, so it lies. As a thing
once has fallen, so it must lie for ever. Not a bit of it! I want to
get up again. Holy Father, I am indignant with you. Confession is a
great sacrament, before which I am ready to bow down reverently; but
there in the cell, they all kneel down and confess aloud. Can it be
right to confess aloud? It was ordained by the holy Fathers to confess
in secret: then only your confession will be a mystery, and so it was
of old. But how can I explain to him before every one that I did this
and that ... well, you understand what—sometimes it would not be proper
to talk about it—so it is really a scandal! No, Fathers, one might be
carried along with you to the Flagellants, I dare say ... at the first
opportunity I shall write to the Synod, and I shall take my son,
Alexey, home.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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