The sergeant's name was Snogger. He was a well-built man, straight as a
ramrod and supple as an eel. He was very strict on parade, a model
soldier, a terror to recruits and a rank disciplinarian. "When you're
on parade you're on parade," was his pet saying. He had a tendency to
use the letter "w" a little too often when speaking. Once he said
admonishing a dilatory squad: "You blokes in the wear wank must wipe
your wifles wiv woily wags in future!"
Sergeant Snogger was a handsome man, proud as Lucifer and very careful
about his person. His moustache was always waxed, his finger nails were
always clean, and whenever possible he slept with his trousers placed
under his bed and neatly folded. Thus a most artistic crease was
obtained.
Snogger had peculiar ears. Their tops pressed very closely into the
head and the lobes stood out. Looking at the ears from the side they
had an appearance similar to that of a shovel stretched out to catch
something; seen from behind they looked as if crouching against a
parapet waiting for an oncoming shell.
The men liked Snogger and the sergeant preferred the company of
riflemen to that of his brother N.C.O.'s.
Bowdy Benners was a different type of man. A young fellow of
twenty-four, slightly over medium height, but thick-set and sturdy. He
had remarkably long arms, heavy buttocks and broad shoulders. The
latter he swung vigorously when marching. This motion imparted a
certain defiant swagger to the man which his placid nature utterly
belied. He was of a kindly disposition, extremely good-humoured, but
very self-conscious and blushed red as a poppy when spoken to. There
was something very amiable and kind in his face; something good and
comforting in his sleepy eyes, his rather thick lips and full cheeks.
His ears perhaps were out of keeping with the repose which found
expression on the rest of his features. They stood out from his head
alert and ready, as it seemed, to jump from their perch on to the
ground.
Bowdy could drink like a fish, but French beer never made him drunk and
champagne merely made him merry. When merry he swore and his companions
laughed at this unaccustomed violence.
"Devil blow me blind," he would say, stretching his long arm across the
table at which he might be sitting and bringing down his massive fist
with a thundering bang. "Devil blow me stone blind for a fool!" And all
the soldiers around would laugh and wink at one another, as much as to
say: "Is he not a big silly fool; not half as clever as we are."
Bowdy was not indeed particularly clever; he lacked excessive sharpness
of wit. But his mates loved him, for his spirit of comradeship was very
genuine and he had a generous sympathy for all things good and noble.
Often when the boys' tongues were loosened in a French tavern one of
them might be heard saying: "Old Bowdy's a damned good sort. I'd follow
him anywhere, even to hell."
Then the others would answer: "None like old Bowdy. One of the best he
is. And a good man."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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