[Illustration: Mr. Peter Hisites:--"Step up, gen'l'min! Here's the wild man of Hankhunkamunk; captured him myself, after a desperate resistance, jist as I am. He's very dangerous; I carry a gun all the time."] [Illustration: Dizzy Joe (_to his spouse_):--"My dear, this beats wanderin' on a mountain in a straw ulster, and livin' on jerked black snake and blueberries--you bet!!"] [Illustration: Violet's experience.] [Illustration] [Illustration: "You Lucullus Juniper! Has yo' done gone into yo' secon' chile-hood? What you bringin' ole woreout cast-iron images wif dey arms broke off roun' here fo'?" "Don' you pester yo'sef 'bout dat figger Emmerline Jane; dat's a little surprise fo' Vi'let!"] [Illustration: "Now you Vi'let, dis here gen'l'min is a mos' pertickler fren' ov mine. If I go 'way an' leave you, I don' want none ov yo' kicken tricks; you heah me?"] [Illustration: "Dat's a mos' pertickler fren' ov his'n; well, I should smile!"--] [Illustration: --"but bizness is bizness, an' here goes--!"] [Illustration: "----!!!!!"] [Illustration: "Brer 'Cullus, yo' 'pears to be mighty cheerful fo' a man dat's stanin' on the aidge ov de grave!" "I ain' gwine ter die jist yit, Brer Hacklefeather!" "Ain' dat yo' kicken' muel Vi'let?" "Dis here my muel Vi'let, but she ain' a kicken mule no mo'! She done had a 'sperience!"] [Illustration: _The entire discomfiture of Uneasy Walker._] [Illustration] [Illustration: Hatching the plot.] [Illustration: Setting the bait.] [Illustration: Waiting for the signal.] [Illustration: The action begins.] [Illustration: Is continued with warmth.] [Illustration: The situation becomes desperate.] [Illustration: Dictating the terms of surrender.] [Illustration: The capitulation.] [Illustration: _'Twas a Poem About Gentle Spring._] [Illustration] [Illustration: Editor of the Weekly Whoop (_alone_):--"Been up all night with the baby, head aches, three libel suits on hand, men on strike, subscriptions falling off, what next? Murder would be a pastime fer me now----Come in!!!"] [Illustration: Editor W. W.:--"_What!_ a poem on Spring! I'll spring you----!!!"] [Illustration: Small Quiet Party:--"Excuse me, sir, jist hold on a minute----"] [Illustration: "I didn't expect to have to do no fightin', but if I _must_ I'll have to get this 'ere coat off. Jist go up there a half a second!!"] [Illustration: Editor:--"Wha--Wha--What do you want?" Small Party:--"I was a-givin' Mr. Snees, the poet, a sparrin' lesson an' he says, jist slip my coat on an' run over to the _Weekly Whoop_ with this 'ere Spring poem, while I git me breath." Editor W. W.:--"Who are _you_?" Small Party:--"Jist excuse me----] [Illustration: a half a second----] [Illustration: and----] [Illustration: I'll give you----] [Illustration: my card----Professor Bolero, Cannon Ball Tosser and Lightning Change Artist, sir, to the Crowned Heads of Europe, sir."]