The Burglars' Club: A Romance in Twelve Chronicles — John Shaqi
The Burglars' Club: A Romance in Twelve ChroniclesHering, Henry Augustus
General
The Burglars' Club: A Romance in Twelve Chronicles
Hering, Henry Augustus
Aristocracy (Social class) -- England -- Fiction; Burglars -- Fiction; Clubs -- Fiction; England -- Fiction
While he was gazing gloomily at these recording figures the door gently
opened, and a man stood on the threshold--a man with his coat buttoned
tightly up to the neck, with his cap brought down over his eyes, a man
with a lamp--in short, a burglar. Sir John stared at him dumbfounded.
Then he glanced at the revolver, but it was out of reach. The burglar
followed his look, and caught up the weapon.
Now thoroughly aroused, the knight indignantly exclaimed:
"You needn't add murder to your other crimes, my man."
"Sir," replied the burglar, "it would grieve me to have to anticipate
your own intentions."
Sir John was struck, as much by the melodious voice of the burglar as by
his answer. Nevertheless, in his most magisterial voice he demanded:
"What are you doing here?"
"Watching an elderly gentleman in an interesting situation."
"You are impertinent!" flared Sir John.
"A thousand pardons. A burglar should, I believe, be merely brutal."
"May I ask what you expect to find here?" continued the merchant. "We
rarely keep enough money on the premises to make it worth your while."
"Postage stamps?" insinuated the other.
Sir John ignored the suggestion. "Certainly not enough to make it worth
your while. It may be a matter of penal servitude for you."
"You open up a wide philosophic question," said the burglar suavely.
"What is worth your while in this world? 'Uneasy is the head that wears
a crown.' You seem worried yourself, Sir John--going through your papers
at this time o' night, with a loaded pistol by you."
The merchant was annoyed at the burglar's perspicacity, and he could not
think of an effective rejoinder. His visitor advanced to the bureau. The
photographs immediately engaged his attention. "Ha!" he exclaimed
approvingly. "But it really isn't fair. One, two, three, four. Greedy
man!"
"Will you kindly leave my private matters alone?" said the incensed
knight. Then, with a sudden inspiration, he made a reckless dash for
freedom by grabbing at the telephone handle, turning briskly, and
shouting down the receiver, "Help! Thieves! Help!" But before he had
called again the burglar had raised his revolver and had severed the
connecting wire with a shot. "What an absurd idea," he said. "Why, the
operator isn't awake yet."
Sir John sank back into his chair, feeling it was very likely that the
burglar would adopt some extremely unpleasant form of revenge for the
want of confidence he had just displayed. But his visitor did nothing of
the sort. He also seated himself, and addressed the knight in grave
reproof.
"If that's a sample of your best business method I'm surprised you've
done so well in things," he said. Then without waiting for a reply,
"Where do you keep your cigars?"
The merchant stretched out his hand and passed a box to him. The burglar
rolled one knowingly between his fingers, then replaced it, and gave the
box back.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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