He felt he must scream the words out to relieve himself of his frenzy.
All the pent-up rage, impatience, annoyance, curiosity, impotence, and
the sense of betrayal of the last few days, which he had suppressed in
the fond belief that he was an adult and must behave like an adult, now
gushed from him in a fit of weeping and sobbing. It was the final crying
spell of his childhood. For the last time he was giving in to the bliss
of weeping like a woman. In that moment of uncontrolled fury his tears
washed away his whole childhood, trust, love, credulity, respect.
The lad who returned to the hotel was different from the child that had
left it. He was cool and level-headed. He went first to his room and
washed his face carefully so that the two should not enjoy the triumph
of seeing the traces of his tears. Then he planned his strategy and
waited patiently, without the least agitation.
There happened to be a good many guests in the hall when the carriage
pulled up at the door. Two gentlemen were playing chess, a few others
were reading their papers, and a group of ladies sat together talking.
Edgar sat among them quietly, a trifle pale, with wavering glances. When
his mother and the baron appeared in the doorway, rather embarrassed at
encountering him so soon, and began to stammer out their excuses
prepared in advance, he confronted them calmly, and said to the baron in
a tone of challenge:
"I have something to say to you, sir."
"Very well, later, a little later."
Edgar, pitching his voice louder and enunciating every word clearly and
distinctly, said, so that everyone in the hall could hear:
"No, now. You behaved like a villain. You knew my mother was waiting for
me, and you----"
"Edgar!" cried his mother, feeling all glances upon her, and swooped
down on him. But Edgar, realizing that she wanted to shout him down,
screamed at the top of his voice:
"I say again, in front of everybody, you lied, you lied disgracefully.
It was a dirty trick."
The baron went white, the people stared, some laughed. The mother
clutched the boy, who was quivering with excitement, and stammered out
hoarsely:
"Go right up to your room, or I'll give you a beating right here in
front of everybody."
But Edgar had already calmed down. He regretted he had been so violent
and was discontented with himself that he had not coolly challenged the
baron as he had intended to do. But his anger had been stronger than his
will. He turned and walked to the staircase leisurely, with an air of
perfect composure.
"You must excuse him," the mother still went on, stammering, confused by
the rather wicked glances fixed upon her, "he's a nervous child, you
know."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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