It was not until Edgar took his seat in the train that he noticed he had
secured only a third-class passage. Having always travelled first class,
he was again struck with a sense of difference. He saw there were
distinctions that had escaped him. His fellow-passengers were unlike
those of his first-class trips, a few Italian laborers, with tough hands
and uncouth voices, carrying pickaxes and shovels. They sat directly
opposite, dull and disconsolate-eyed, staring into space. They must
have been working very hard on the road, for some of them slept in the
rattling coach, open-mouthed, leaning against the hard, soiled wood.
"They have been working to earn money," came into Edgar's mind, and he
set to guessing how much they earned, but could not decide. And so
another disturbing fact impressed itself upon him, that money was
something one did not always have on hand, but had to be made somehow or
other. And for the first time he became conscious of having taken the
ease in which he had been lapped as a matter of course and that to the
right and the left of him abysms yawned which his eyes had never beheld.
It came to him now with the shock of suddenness that there were trades
and professions, that his life was hedged about by innumerable secrets,
close at hand and tangible, though he had never noticed them.
Edgar was learning a good deal in that single hour of aloneness and saw
many things as he looked out of his narrow compartment into the great
wide world. And for all his dark dread, something began to unfold itself
gently within him, not exactly happiness as yet, rather a marvelling at
the diversity of life. He had fled, he felt, out of fear and cowardice,
yet it was his first independent act, and he had experienced something
of the reality that he had passed by, until then, without heeding it.
Perhaps he himself was now as much of a mystery to his mother and his
father as the world had been to him. It was with different eyes that he
looked out of the window. He was now viewing actualities, it seemed to
him. A veil had been lifted from all things, and they were showing him
the core of their purpose, the secret spring of their actions. Houses
flew by as though torn away by the wind, and he pictured to himself the
people living in them. Were they rich or poor, happy or unhappy? Were
they filled with the same longing as he to know everything? And were
there children in those houses like himself who had merely been playing
with things? The flagmen who waved the train no longer seemed like
scattered dolls, inanimate objects, toys stationed there by indifferent
chance. Edgar now understood that the giving of the signal was their
fate, their struggle with life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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