The Burning Spear: Being the Experiences of Mr. John Lavender in the Time of WarGalsworthy, John
General
The Burning Spear: Being the Experiences of Mr. John Lavender in the Time of War
Galsworthy, John
World War, 1914-1918 -- Humor, caricatures, etc.
Her face was instantly withdrawn, and, sighing deeply, Mr. Lavender
entered the house and made his way upstairs. “Ah!” he thought, painfully
recumbent in his bed once more, “though my bones ache and my head burns
I have performed an action not unworthy of the traditions of public
life. There is nothing more uplifting than to serve Youth and Beauty at
the peril of one's existence. Humanity and Chivalry have ever been the
leading characteristics of the British race;” and, really half-delirious
now, he cried aloud: “This incident will for ever inspire those who have
any sense of beauty to the fulfilment of our common task. Believe me, we
shall never sheathe the sword until the cause of humanity and chivalry
is safe once more.”
Blink, ever uneasy about sounds which seemed to her to have no meaning,
stood up on her hind legs and endeavoured to stay them by licking his
face; and Mr. Lavender, who had become so stiff that he could not stir
without great pain, had to content himself by moving his head feebly
from side to side until his dog, having taken her fill, resumed the
examination of her bone. Perceiving presently that whenever he began
to-talk she began to lick his face, he remained silent, with his mouth
open and his eyes shut, in an almost unconscious condition, from which
he was roused by a voice saying:
“He is suffering from alcoholic poisoning.”
The monstrous injustice of these words restored his faculties,
and seeing before him what he took to be a large concourse of
people—composed in reality of Joe Petty, Mrs. Petty, and the doctor—he
thus addressed them in a faint, feverish voice:
“The pressure of these times, ladies and gentlemen, brings to the
fore the most pushing and obstreperous blackguards. We have amongst us
persons who, under the thin disguise of patriotism, do not scruple
to bring hideous charges against public men. Such but serve the
blood-stained cause of our common enemies. Conscious of the purity of
our private lives, we do not care what is said of us so long as we can
fulfil our duty to our country. Abstinence from every form of spirituous
liquor has been the watchword of all public men since this land was
first threatened by the most stupendous cataclysm which ever hung over
the heads of a great democracy. We have never ceased to preach the need
for it, and those who say the contrary are largely Germans or persons
lost to a sense of decency.” So saying, he threw off all the bedclothes,
and fell back with a groan.
“Easy, easy, my dear sir!” said the voice.
“Have you a pain in your back?”
“I shall not submit,” returned our hero, “to the ministrations of a Hun;
sooner will I breathe my last.”
“Turn him over,” said the voice. And Mr. Lavender found himself on his
face.
“Do you feel that?” said the voice.
Mr. Lavender answered faintly into his pillow:
“It is useless for you to torture me. No German hand shall wring from me
a groan.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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