The Burning Spear: Being the Experiences of Mr. John Lavender in the Time of WarGalsworthy, John
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The Burning Spear: Being the Experiences of Mr. John Lavender in the Time of War
Galsworthy, John
World War, 1914-1918 -- Humor, caricatures, etc.
“Joe,” said Mr. Lavender to his surprised chauffeur, “serve my lunch.
Give me a large helping, and a glass of ale.” And, paler than his
holland dust-coat, he sat resolutely down on the bole of a beech, with
Blink on her haunches beside him. While Joe was filling a plate with
pigeon-pie and pouring out a glass of foaming Bass, Mr. Lavender stared
at the three Germans and suffered the tortures of the damned. “I will
not flinch,” he thought; “God helping me, I certainly will not flinch.
Nothing shall prevent my going through with it.” And his eyes, more
prominent than a hunted rabbit's, watched the approach of Joe with
the plate and glass. The three men also followed the movements of the
chauffeur, and it seemed to Mr. Lavender that their eyes were watering.
“Courage!” he murmured to himself, transfixing a succulent morsel with
his fork and conveying it to his lips. For fully a minute he revolved
the tasty mouthful, which he could not swallow, while the three men's
eyes watched him with a sort of lugubrious surprise. “If,” he thought
with anguish, “if I were a prisoner in Germany! Come, come! One
effort, it's only the first mouthful!” and with a superhuman effort,
he swallowed. “Look at me!” he cried to the three Germans, “look at
me! I—I—I'm going to be sick!” and putting down his plate, he rose and
staggered forward. “Joe,” he said in a dying voice, “feed these poor
men, feed them; make them drink; feed them!” And rushing headlong to
the edge of the grove, he returned what he had swallowed—to the great
interest of Brink. Then, waving away the approach of Joe, and consumed
with shame and remorse at his lack of heroism, he ran and hid himself
in a clump of hazel bushes, trying to slink into the earth. “No,” he
thought; “no; I am not for public life. I have failed at the first test.
Was ever so squeamish an exhibition? I have betrayed my country and
the honour of public life. These Germans are now full of beer and
pigeon-pie. What am I but a poltroon, unworthy to lace the shoes of the
great leaders of my land? The sun has witnessed my disgrace.”
How long he stayed there lying on his face he did not know before he
heard the voice of Joe saying, “Wot oh, sir!”
“Joe,” replied Mr. Lavender faintly, “my body is here, but my spirit has
departed.”
“Ah!” said Joe, “a rum upset—that there. Swig this down, sir!” and he
held out to his master, a flask-cup filled with brandy. Mr. Lavender
swallowed it.
“Have they gone?” he said, gasping.
“They 'ave, sir,” replied Joe, “and not 'alf full neither. Where did you
pick 'em up?”
“In a gravel-pit,” said Mr. Lavender. “I can never forgive myself for
this betrayal of my King and country. I have fed three Germans. Leave
me, for I am not fit to mingle with my fellows.”
“Well, I don't think,” said Joe. “Germans?”
Gazing up into his face Mr. Lavender read the unmistakable signs of
uncontrolled surprise.
“Why do you look at me like that?” he said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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